Why Men Love Bitches

Giving up the candy store one jujube at a time isn’t about being celibate or virginal. It is about ensuring that you look out for number one. It ensures that the man develops a habit of putting forth effort so that you are treated the way you want to be treated.

Not having sex right away is about playing your cards right so that small things matter. This is when he’ll get a chill down his spine because you gently hold his hand in a public place. Or he’ll call you several times just to get a glimpse of you. And in his mind, you are the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. It’s all about having that magic spark. And men live for that spark.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #22

Sex and the “spark” are not one and the same.

A Sweeter Victory

If a man feels as though he has to win you over first—sexually with his manliness, wit, or charm—he will place a higher value on you. Men are possessive. He likes knowing that other men cannot easily get to where he is trying to go. Like he’s Captain Kirk and Christopher Columbus all wrapped up in one, he wants to explore new terrain not trampled on by too many men before him. And he judges whether you make “the rounds” by one thing and one thing only: how quickly you give it up to him.

It is true that there are those rare “chance” liaisons between two people who are generally not promiscuous, and it ends up working out well. But this is the exception, not the rule.

One of my closest girlfriends, Brittany, is a pharmacist and a beautiful “worthwhile” woman with a lot going for her. Almost always, she sleeps with a man on the first couple of dates.

Recently she slept with a guy she really liked. Right after they had sex, he appeared to be in his own thoughts. Then he looked at her and asked, “Do you do this with all the guys?” She recalled how it made her feel: “I was mildly insulted!”

If you have sex immediately with a man, he’ll say to himself, for a short while, “She just couldn’t resist me!” But then he’ll begin to scratch his head and wonder how many other men you also couldn’t resist.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #23

Before sex, a man isn’t thinking clearly and

a woman is thinking clearly. After sex, it

reverses. The man is thinking clearly

and the woman isn’t.

When sex happens at lightning speed, the man has achieved what he wanted. The reason he thinks more clearly after sex is that he’s relieved and has already attained his goal. Meanwhile, the woman is just starting to pursue her goal. She has unfinished business. Then she chases him… and he runs.

Like it or not, in the beginning you’re subtly negotiating the terms of your relationship. And if you strike a deal too soon, you give up all your bargaining power. The bitch takes her time deciding whether the man is someone she wants to strike a deal with in the first place. And she won’t be a pit stop or a notch on a belt.

At first, he wants to sleep with you. He doesn’t care what you do for a living. He doesn’t care what kind of car you drive. He doesn’t care that you like a doughnut and coffee in the morning with Equal and nonfat milk. So you have to turn it into something else.

When you make him wait, he begins to notice that you are “different.” And that’s when he begins to care that you like nonfat milk, not cream, in your coffee.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #24

Every man wants to have sex first;

whether he wants a girlfriend is something

he thinks about later. By not giving him what

he wants up front, you become his girlfriend

without him realizing it.

Men like the game that women find maddening. Picture the following scenario: A red-blooded American male is watching a Super Bowl game in which the score is 47 to 3. That’s not very exciting, right? But if he’s watching a Super Bowl game that goes into overtime—now he’s on the edge of his seat for three hours. His team triumphs and he starts screaming: “Yes! Yes!” His favorite sports idol on TV is now spanking everyone else on the rear while he’s breaking out the drinks for a celebration.

Ten years later, if you were to ask him about that game-winning final play, he’d describe it as though it happened yesterday. The same thing happens when a woman gives herself over slowly. He becomes much more excited about it.

This may sound “old school,” but rest assured it is advice based on countless interviews I conducted with men, both young and old. A perfect example is Nathan. He just turned twenty-five, and he does pretty well with the ladies. Here’s what he had to say, word-for-word:

If she gives it up too soon, we stop with the romance and we stop working at it. And truthfully, we’d rather be working hard at it. We enjoy playing the game, and if it ends too soon, we’re disappointed. We even struggle inside, subconsciously. We know we want to get it, but we know we want the girl to make us wait. Otherwise, it’s a one- or a two-time thing. And then you move on.

Granted, there are some men who don’t want to invest any effort. These are the men who subscribe to the “three-date rule.” This rule holds that if a woman doesn’t put out by the third date, the man should stop pursuing her altogether.

There are men who truly want to find a woman they can spend time with. However, the “three-date rule” is for men who have ruled out this option entirely; they just want to hit and run. If a man leaves because he didn’t score by the third date, it’s a clear signal he would have left after getting it anyway.

The nice girl is more likely to feel obligated, pressured, or manipulated to sleep with a man early on. She sleeps with him and then believes she’ll hook him with great sex, as though what she has to offer sexually is “golden.” The bitch understands that the sex only becomes “golden” when he doesn’t get it right away.

Don’t be misled by the fact that men want it quick and they are accustomed to having it be easy. If given the option, most men would love to know how much it would take—the bottom-line dollar figure—to get a woman into bed. It’s almost as if there is an unspoken transaction between the guy and the nice girl, in which a bartered transaction takes place: “Lookie, here. I’m willing to spend the equivalent of two dinners, a bouquet of flowers, and a movie—for a grand total of $255.92. And not a penny more.”

He budgets how much he can spend and wants to know how much it will cost.

The bitch is smarter. She knows that if he’s not pursuing her, he’ll pursue someone else. So whatever his budget is, large or small, she makes sure it is spent on her and on no one else. In her mind, she’s the best investment he’ll ever make.

The “three-date rule” will fall on deaf ears with the bitch. She’ll let the guy walk—and she won’t barter. He will end up marrying the woman who doesn’t play by his rules; she plays by her own. Since she has no problem allowing the words See ya later to trip lightly off her tongue, he usually doesn’t feel as if he can get away with disrespecting her.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #25

A man intuitively senses whether sexuality

comes from a place of security or from a place

of neediness. He knows when a woman

is having sex to appease him.