Why Men Love Bitches

take your time. This will not only make you smart as a fox, it will help you keep your independence.

The nice girl loses an important protective mechanism when she assumes that life is fair, or that Prince Charming will always protect her. The smart fox is not governed by wishful thinking or the hope of a fantasy outcome, like Cinderella. Despite appearances, she trusts herself to watch her own back instead of giving a man the responsibility of doing it for her.

It’s what every animal in the wild does to survive, so that they don’t become “din din.” Above all, the smart fox understands—and adheres to—the first law of nature: Every animal for herself.

5 JUMPING THROUGH Hoops LIKE A CIRCUS POODLE When Women Give Themselves Away and Become Needy

“Let us never negotiate out

of fear.”

—JOHN F. KENNEDY

A New School: Who Is the Boss of You?

When a nice girl meets a man, it’s not uncommon for her to make concessions in her life that seem relatively insignificant. She stops doing the routine everyday things. She stops seeing friends. She stops going to a yoga class, and she stops playing tennis on weekends. She stops making time for the things she did when she was “solo.” Here’s what she does do:

• She cancels a hair appointment… for a date with him.

• She stops going to the gym after work… to accommodate seeing him.

• She stops spending time with friends… to give him the feeling “he is special.”

• She cancels plans… because there’s a chance that she’ll get a call from him.

• She isn’t focused at school… she keeps checking to see if a message came from him.

• She isn’t focused at work… she keeps checking her email to see if she received something in her inbox from him.

• She gives up her career… to further his career and support him.

• She stops having dreams outside of her relationship… because her only dream is him.

The bitch does not stop moving to her own rhythm. This, in and of itself, prevents her from becoming off-balance like a nice girl who abandons her routine.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #43

If you allow your rhythm to be interrupted,

you’ll create a void. Then, to replace what

you give up, you’ll start to expect and

need more from your partner.

A classic example is Theresa. She takes salsa dance classes two nights a week. When she met her last boyfriend, she stopped going to her dance classes because he didn’t like to dance. She also played tennis, but he didn’t play; so she stopped that hobby as well.

Seems harmless, right? Not really. She’s giving up what she likes. The reason the nice girl gives up these activities is also telling of her self-confidence. Often she gives up something because she fears he won’t like her the way she is.

In addition, this cumulative reduction of activities eventually adds up to a significant change in who she is. At some point the man notices, and it turns him off because he realizes— before she does—that she’s lost her independence.

What happens after she’s lost her independence? Let’s take a look at the “state of the union” with Theresa, the woman who gave up salsa classes and tennis. She said, “We spent almost every night of the week together and fell into that pattern almost immediately. He didn’t tell me it was ‘too much’ for him. He just didn’t smile much and it seemed like he wasn’t happy anymore. I was becoming more insecure and I kept trying harder to be affectionate. I just wanted him to be like he was in the beginning.”

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #44

Most women are starving to receive

something from a man that they need to

give to themselves.

The nice girl thinks she’s giving up something to get something better in return. She gives up control over her own life. When the time comes for her to get what she had expected, she winds up disappointed. In addition to being empty-handed, she’s depleted.

A man rarely realizes just how much the nice girl gives up. He doesn’t make the same sacrifices because she’s adjusting her life to be with him. After she gives up everything in her life, she begins to demand the same of him. She wants him to stop seeing family and friends. She wants him to spend all of his free time with her. If he goes to the gym, she wants to accompany him.

He doesn’t feel this pressure from a bitchier woman, so he wants to be around her more, not less, and he respects her because she appears to have “a life.” Suppose a woman says to a guy she can’t go on a date with him that night because of her weekly pottery class. He scratches his head and thinks, “She’d rather go to a pottery class than be with me?” It not only attracts him; it blows his mind.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #45

A woman looks more secure in a man’s eyes

when he can’t pull her away from her life,

because she is content with her life.

When you love life with him or without him, that is when he will accept and value you for who you are.

WHO IS THE BOSS OF YOU?

THE NICE GIRL	THE BITCH