Why Men Love Bitches

usually a wellplaced shot that delivers a devastating blow.

Many times, when a man steps on a woman’s toes, he doesn’t have a clue. She has to remember that if something happens that she doesn’t like, he may not know any better.

Therefore, if she wants to tell him something he did that put her off, she should stay calm. Then she should say, “Could I explain something to you?” She needs to approach it as though he did not intend to hurt her because more often than not he doesn’t have an inkling.

Shaquille O’Neal said, “This is a tough game. There are times when you’ve got to play hurt, when you’ve got to block out the pain.” The reason that you block out the pain is that it impairs your decision-making. Long term, how you communicate will affect his desire for you.

If a woman is losing a man’s attention, it’s because the woman is following a predictable routine and she’s becoming an opponent rather than a partner. Therefore:

Nagging = A woman who is predictable = A feeling of obligation = Decreased lust

Indifference = Less predictable response = Renewed interest

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #56

When you treat him casually as though

he’s a friend, he’ll come your way.

Because he wants things to be romantic,

but he also wants to be the pursuer.

Envisioning him as just a friend enables you to relate to him without the heaviness or the intensity of the nagging. Don’t say, “Hey buddy Hey, pal,” and throw down a cold beer in front of him with a fake, peppermint- refreshing smile. Don’t offer to girl-watch with him or chew tobacco. Don’t overdo it.

Again, treat him as you would a friend, which means exude a demeanor that seems unlikely given the circumstances. If you’ve been uptight, needy, or clingy, appearing casual, relaxed, and unconcerned is the unlikely response that he would expect.

For example, if he has excuses for why he isn’t spending time with you, you need to make excuses for why you can’t spend time with him. Is it a game? No. If he’s too busy and you’ve already tried telling him how you feel, it’s time to show him with your actions that he will no longer be dictating the terms. Because his terms will most likely continue to drive a wedge between you—and that’s not the outcome you want.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #57

A little distance combined with the

appearance of self-control makes him

nervous that he may be losing you.

Here is a classic case in point. You want to see more of him and you suggest going away for the weekend together. He says, “No, I can’t because of work.” You’ve typically whined over the issue of him not spending enough time with you. What will throw him and get his attention is if you go left when he thinks you’ll go right.

If you don’t cop an attitude or you appear to lose interest in going away, he’ll immediately be concerned. Most men are used to women wanting to be around them all the time. He gets concerned when he’s busy trying to defend something you mysteriously no longer want. If you don’t bring it up and pretend to forget all about it, he second-guesses himself: “Hmm… why is this okay with her when I know it’s wrong?” Now his clout or leverage with you will be called into question, and he no longer knows if he has a 100 percent hold on you. When he doesn’t get the nagging but he knows he deserves it, he begins to wonder what’s going on.

Let’s say he likes seeing you two nights a week, but he likes to do his own thing on the weekends. Some weekends you get together and other weekends he leaves you hanging when he goes out with the boys. The last thing you want to let Yogi Bear think is that you are Boo Boo the fool. “Gee, Yogi what are we going to do next? Okay!”

You need to alter the pattern that has become convenient for him with no attitude and no warning. Use the same type of excuses that he wanted you to accept. See him half as much as he wants to see you. “I’d love to see you Thursday, but I can’t. I am really behind in my work. I want to go to the gym after work, and I’m going to be too tired. We’ll get together next week.” In that one gesture, you’ve done something you could have never accomplished with all the whining and nagging in the world. You’ve just rekindled the flame.

The second you take away the security of a predictable routine, his orientation changes. Instead of worrying about buying time or making excuses about work, he has to think of something fun to do so you’ll want to be with him. When you’re not available, he’ll go out of his way to make more time for you.

If you ask any parrot trainer how to train a parrot, he or she will tell you to raise the perch to about shoulder level. The trainer will tell you not to raise the bird up higher than you, because the bird will think he is better than you. No matter how much the bird loves you, if you put your finger up over your head to touch him, he’ll be more inclined to bite you. This dynamic with birds is where the term cocky originated.

If, on the other hand, you put the bird on the ground, the bird feels vulnerable. Trainers suggest doing this to keep the bird “in check.” If you put your finger out, instead of biting you, he’ll crawl up on your finger and want to get on your arm. When your man behaves as though he is more worthy than you, recreate the balance and equality in the relationship by gently taking the “little birdie” and putting him on the ground.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #58

A man takes a woman for granted

when he’s interested, but will no

longer go out of his way.

For example, Rhonda was being taken for granted by her boyfriend. He asked her to “come over” late one night. She indicated she didn’t have a car because it was in the shop. He was seven minutes away with a car that was running fine, parked right there in his driveway. He asked, “So, Rhonda, when will your car be ready?” After realizing that she had no wheels, he dropped the subject of getting together.

In this example, Rhonda was “dissed” by a guy who wanted her to keep him warm at night but wouldn’t drive seven minutes to pick her up. Typically, she would have nagged, but she didn’t this time. The next time he called, Rhonda spoke to him very casually as though he were an acquaintance. A friend. A pal. A muchacho. She said, “Hey, great to hear from you. Can you call me back in a few? I am on the other line.” He called back and she was in the shower. Then he called a third time. They chatted a bit casually. For the first time in their relationship, her disposition changed from intense to indifferent. After a short while, her call waiting beeped through and she politely ended the conversation. “Talk to you soon. Bye, sweetie.” Almost immediately, the guy started to become much more attentive.

Let’s hit the “pause” button. Rewind… now, let’s review play-by-play. Notice how simple it was for Rhonda to get him to realize he needs to give more.

1. He wasn’t nice.

2. He knows he wasn’t nice.

3. He expected her to nag.

4. She didn’t nag.

5. He was unsure.

6. She was relaxed and self-assured.

7. She gave no explanation and no attitude.

8. He said to himself, “Uh oh. I better get busy.”

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #59

When you nag, you become the problem,

and he deals with it by tuning you out.