Why Men Love Bitches

makes the relationship go smoothly. For example, a guy has to go to work. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to spend time with a woman; it’s that a lot of times he can’t. So when a woman gives you room to live your life without getting upset, you’ll feel she’s adding much more to your life.”

2. “I like a woman who’s quiet at times because then you’re not sure what she’s thinking. She’ll seem more secure with herself, like she has control over herself and her emotions. You want to be with a person who can think before she speaks.”

3. “Some women seem defensive or guarded, and that can be viewed as insecurity, also. There was one woman who turned me off before we even went out. She was so concerned about protecting herself that she told me what she wouldn’t tolerate in our first phone conversation. She gave me this warning based on what happened with the last guy. We hadn’t even had our first date, and already she was laying down the law. I hadn’t even made a traffic violation and she’d already sentenced me to death. All I did was ask her out on a date!”

4. “I went out with a woman who interrogated me. I got the impression that she had been burned. Actually, it was more like she’d been scorched. No guy wants to feel like he’s paying for some other guy’s mistakes.”

5. “I dated a woman who loved to talk and talk. We’d fall asleep talking, and I’d wake up and she’d still be talking. I realized that she wasn’t doing it because she wanted to tell me anything, she was doing it because she just couldn’t shut up.”

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #65

Many women talk a lot out of nervousness—

which is something that men

will often perceive as insecurity.

6. “One woman I dated was really needy. She needed constant reassurance about everything. Her family, her friends, and her job. During sex, she said to me, ‘Do you know what happened to me today at work?’ That one killed my ego!”

7. “The conversation is part of the companionship, but it isn’t everything. Women overdo talking about feelings. If it feels like you’ve run out of things to talk about, that’s not a good thing. There has to be a balance somewhere in between.”

8. “One woman tried to change me. She tried to get me to talk about my ‘feelings’ more. Hey, look. I can deal with my own problems.”

9. “When someone tries to get me to open up and I don’t want to, there is no way they are getting the information out of me. I’ll close up even more. I don’t need a woman to ‘help’ me.”

10. “It really makes us happy when a woman lets us go out with the guys and has no attitude about it. Like if I get tickets to a hockey game at the last minute. If she’s cool even when I cancel plans with her, it wins my respect. It feels like she is secure with herself, and she cares about what makes me happy, too.”

11. “I had one girlfriend who talked so much I could walk away into another room and she’d still be talking. One time I was in the bathroom trying to have some privacy and she was talking to me through the crack of the door. I really think there was something wrong with her.”

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #66

Talking about feelings to a man

will feel like work. When he’s with a

woman, he wants it to feel like fun.

12. “When a guy talks about something, it’s over in thirty seconds. But for a woman, it goes on and on. What seems like a trivial thing to him seems like it’s life threatening to her. So then you try to help and you say, ‘Honey, it doesn’t matter.’ But that makes it worse because she thinks you don’t care.”

13. “I think a woman who talks less is more attractive because it makes her more mysterious. It is not a good thing to just ramble on. Communication should be about quality not quantity. If a woman is uncomfortable or bothered, he should be able to feel it without her saying a word.”

14. “One woman wanted the two of us to always be together. She tried to change how I spend all my time. And every guy has his own special time or recreation. She wanted me to do stuff I didn’t want to do. If she knows I am not the ‘artsy’ type, she should let me be who I am. She shouldn’t be dragging me to an art gallery or a museum. If a guy treats a woman well, but he doesn’t write poetry or buy stupid cards expressing his feelings, she should just leave well enough alone.”

15. “I don’t mind a woman who changes the decor in the house, but when she is obsessed with changing me, it gets old. I want a woman who has a sense of purpose in her own life, so she doesn’t waste all her energy trying to control mine.”

What you can glean from this feedback is that, no matter how much a woman wants intimacy, she can’t force it out of a man—much less change his stripes. Notice that in the last quote, the man even says the woman is wasting her time. Whenever a woman speaks in language that appears in any way emotional, most men will immediately discredit it and think of it as “girlie babble.” Keeping it short and to the point is essential, otherwise he won’t hear a single word.

Not only this, but constantly trying to force a man to talk about feelings or pay an inordinate amount of attention to your feelings is counterproductive. Here’s why:

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #67

Forcing him to talk about feelings all the time

will not only make you seem needy, it will eventually

make him lose respect. And when he loses respect,

he’ll pay even less attention to your feelings.

Therefore, if you feel as if he’s ignoring you, be “dumb like a fox.” When he isn’t meeting your needs, just pull back slightly and don’t explain a thing. As explored in the last chapter, men don’t respond to words.

Women chase men by trying to force-feed conversations about feelings. And predictably, they run. In order for the child to run to Mommy, Mommy has to first stop chasing the child.

If, however, you’re not demanding it, or chasing it, or trying to inflict “cruel and unusual girlie babble,” you’ll have his respect. Whenever you keep your piece short and sweet and pull back in a slightly mysterious way, you’ll appear more dignified and he’ll pay much more attention to what you feel—without any words at all.

The Top Fifteen Reasons Men “Play It Cool”

I asked men why they hide their feelings, or “play it cool.” I asked why they often put up pretenses that they are cool, “macho,” and tougher than they feel. They do this because they feel they have to, especially when dealing with women.

Women often wonder why men take so long to make a phone call. For example, a man asks for her phone number and then waits six days before calling. Then he takes her out on a really fun date and waits another five days before calling again. Meanwhile, she’s scratching her head and asking, “What’s up with that?”

Men are used to being turned down by women so this delaying tactic is how they keep their guard up. In the beginning, he’ll be calculated. He’ll be rational as opposed to “emotional,” because to him appearing too obvious, or “emotional,” will be perceived as a sign of weakness. On Tuesday, he’ll say to himself, “I think I’ll call her on Thursday”. Most men don’t have a clue that the woman would have preferred a call on Tuesday.

So why do they do it? They do it to “save face” and to give the impression they’re “in control” of the situation. An attractive guy by the name of Steven surprised me with his candor. He said, “You have to approach women looking like you do it all the time, and it isn’t a big deal to you. The minute you act like it’s important to you, the woman smells it and she treats you differently”. This is the reason men will wait before calling and then act a