don’t have to be things he’s interested in necessarily just as long she has
The story that follows proves my point. Rob, an attractive, successful man who could have his pick of any woman he wanted, was mystified by a most unlikely woman. He describes Laura as a “conservative computer nerd” who wears long pleated skirts. After a few dates, he invited her to go on a cruise. Rob wasn’t lacking in the confidence department, and he thought he’d teach Laura how to have fun. He thought he’d “rock her world.” Laura said she couldn’t go. The reason? She had a preplanned Tupperware party.
Rob told what happened next: “I kept hoping she’d change her mind. I ended up going on the cruise by myself and ended up flying home after one day to see what she was up to. A Tupperware party? It couldn’t be. I simply could not believe that she’d pass on an exotic vacation with
He flew home and dropped by that Saturday evening when Laura’s party was supposed to be going on. Sure enough, lo and behold, he was dumbfounded and astonished to find that she was actually having a Tupperware party.
When he showed up, Laura was happy to see him. She invited him in and offered him a finger sandwich. Rob could have just as easily been eating spiny lobster or exotic seafood en route to the Bahamas at that very moment with
Rob still remembers it with disbelief. “There I am listening to a bunch of cackling women, watching them go AWOL over some plastic bowls. I drank coffee in a fancy teacup with a teeny tiny spoon. I could not believe it. I was thinking, ‘No. This cannot be so. I don’t hold a candle to a this?’”
Was Laura being mean? Not at all. She just didn’t go down the beaten path of giving up her own interests in exchange for something he thought would be better. What blew Rob’s mind was that her activity meant more to her than the cruise or being with him. He said, “From that point on, she had my full attention.” And the unlikely couple became a hot item.
Rob had put on his best “mack-daddy” show-stopping routine, and Laura
“Getting a life” will make it seem like you are no longer impetuous, or impatient. When you are relaxed, you’ve taken the “need” out of the equation. You no longer appear needy, which immediately changes the dynamic of a stale relationship.
If you want to renew the challenge, it is imperative to
It really throws men off if the activity appears to be something mundane. In the previous example, it was a Tupperware party; but anything along the lines of knitting, gardening, or pottery will do the trick. Rest assured, his ego won’t let him lose out to a sweater, a potted plant, or a mound of clay
No matter what you choose, as long as you are passionate about something
When you will not drop everything to be with him, you’ll appear as though you have more going for you. This will remind him of your worth, and invariably, he will begin to come your way.
It’s essential when renewing the mental challenge to
As Harry Truman said, “If you can’t convince ’em, confuse ’em.” How? By altering the pattern completely. Give no attitude and no complaints. Instead of seeing him regularly, make the schedule
This applies to whether you are dating or married. If you need to renew the mental challenge, alter the pattern. Whenever he seems complacent, just alter the pattern. Single women often make plans based on when the man calls. Married women often wait for a man to come home from work. And single and married women alike regularly wait by the phone for a call.
Tracy is a woman who benefited from altering the pattern in her marriage. She used to feel as though her husband, Allen, took her for granted when he would travel out of town on business. Tracy used to wait for Allen’s long-distance call every night, even if it meant giving up her own plans to do so. Predictably, Allen started to behave as if calling her was a chore, as though he was “checking in.” Or punching a clock. He’d call around 7:30 P.M. and then rush her off the phone so he could go out for drinks with his colleagues.
Girlfriend decided to rock the boat. How? By staying just outside his reach. When he went on his next business trip, she drove him to the airport and didn’t say, “Call me when you get there.” For the entire trip, half the time she was there when he called; the other half she couldn’t be reached. She was out visiting some girlfriends she hadn’t seen in awhile, and didn’t rush home to wait for his call.
The first evening that Tracy didn’t wait for his call, Allen flipped. His whole orientation changed immediately. He called at 7:30 P.M. and virtually every half-hour after that until 10:30 P.M. He went out, had
Whereas before it was a chore, now Allen was happy to reach her. She was happy, too, especially when she looked down at the answering machine and saw that it was flashing a big red
Suddenly Allen missed Tracy. Why? Because she had a life of her own outside of their relationship.
Never stop living your life. Take a class. Develop a hobby. Meet people. You are only as interesting as the depths of your
The mere fact that you are content with your life keeps you interesting. You are happy with him or without him and this keeps you… just outside his reach.
A textbook example is Ellen, a married woman who felt taken for granted. She regularly cooks dinner for her husband, Sydney, and their two kids. Sydney was the only one working, and he frequently stayed late at the office.
