gym or doing something else that’s important to you. Most professional women, or mothers, or students who juggle busy schedules don’t have two hours in the day to
Altering the routine means mixing things up. If you call twice a day and he doesn’t seem happy to hear from you, call more sporadically and less often. If you generally get together on weekends, tell him you can see him that week on a weekday. This week you can see him Tuesday and Friday. Next week? Thursday and Saturday.
One happily married woman I know named Margaret, shared one of her secrets. She said, “Whenever I feel like my husband is getting a little distant, I’ll just take off for the weekend to visit friends or family. I’ll let him know Thursday that I’m heading out Friday and that I’ll be back late on Sunday. I may call once while I’m gone to let him know where I am. And it never fails… he’s always his usual, loving self again when I come back home.”
Here are a few more suggestions on how to alter the routine:
• If you always call the office to find out when he’s coming home, from time to time, don’t be home when he gets in.
• Don’t tell him your whereabouts for every moment of the day
• If he calls you on your cell phone, don’t always rush to pick up.
• If he pages you, don’t call back within thirty seconds. Or, don’t call back. Let him get hold of you at home —not when you’re out and about.
• If he calls on the phone, don’t go out of your way to answer it. Let him leave a message. Or, you if want to be considerate, tell him you won’t be around beforehand.
• If you sit by the phone and check your “caller ID” or dial “*69” as if your next breath depended on it, turn the ringer off. Read a book. Rent a movie.
• If you live together, leave and go have some fun. And stay out a couple of hours longer than he expected. If he always expects you home at a certain time, come home a little later.
The second he doesn’t know where
When you lose your sense of humor in a relationship, it’s usually around the time that you become “sprung.” This means, you’ve become consumed with your partner’s “every move.” And chances are, you’re often easily upset by what you
A sense of humor is a sexy quality. Men may not come out and say it, but they notice when you lose that “edge.” In the beginning, you probably bantered with him more and had a quick wit. When the mental challenge goes, so does the sense of humor.
A very effective way to put a man in his place or to keep him in check is with humor. You can let him know in a fun, playful way that your security as a woman doesn’t
A sense of humor is more than just finding something funny to say; it’s about a person’s composure. It lets people know you are comfortable in your skin. It lets him know you aren’t sprung. The goal is not to become a knee-slapping standup comic; that’s not effective because it makes it seem like you’re trying too hard.
It’s sexy to be able to banter because humor suggests you’re an independent thinker. Not only can you think for yourself, but you can laugh at what you see happening around you. If you verbally play-fight with him a little, it’s unlikely that he will perceive you as needy.
When he teases you, it’s as if he is asking you, “Still got that edge?” Your sense of humor answers him and lets him know that he isn’t always going to call the shots.
Here’s a case in point. A girlfriend of mine went on a couple of dates with a guy who criticized the color of her nail polish. She said, “The suggestion department is closed for the evening. But fax your idea tomorrow and we’ll file it right over there in the suggestion box.” (Then she pointed to the kitchen trash.) These two are still together and he is absolutely crazy about her. To this day, she wears the same nail polish color.
Humor not only defuses a situation, it also makes you come out smelling like a rose. Tom Hanks exemplified this in an interview with Barbara Walters. Paraphrasing what she said, “I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, Tom, but you aren’t considered a sex symbol.” He said, “Yeah, but I embrace that. And I think that makes me kinda sexy.” He could have chosen to become defensive. Instead he was disarming.
If you don’t become defensive and you laugh things off from time to time, he’ll respect you more. This is when you show whether you believe in yourself. For example, he may make fun of the way you parked your car. This kind of joking makes him feel manly. A relaxed aura from a woman who can laugh at herself turns him on because he thinks she’ll be entertaining and fun.
It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a potato sack. A feisty quality will do it for him more than a black nightie on a woman who behaves as though she is desperate for approval. (Yes, even if you’re wearing the thigh highs that cut off your circulation and practically cause you to lose a limb.)
Successful politicians are coached on how to use humor to win people over and show confidence. When Ronald Reagan ran for president, he was asked in a debate about the detriment of being the oldest candidate to ever run for the highest office. His response was “I refuse to exploit for my political gain the
In a relationship with a man, whenever you want to keep him on his toes, banter with him. If he says something a little out of line, just say, “We’ll let that one slide.” Or, “Why do I put up with this?” Or ask him if he wants one broken leg or two…
One woman I know named Darla dated a man who made a complete mess every time he came over. They also had a good sex life. He made a pass at Darla and she play-fully snubbed him. Then she walked over to the sink and started doing all his dishes. She said jokingly, “The more time I spend doing dishes, the less time we spend doing ‘the deed’.” Suddenly, the happy helper started pitching in.
The man in your life watches you. He watches to see how you stand your ground. He watches to see how you respond when he teases you and when you receive criticism from him or someone else. He’ll test the waters, because he wants to see how you fight back. He wants to see if you can
And while we’re on the subject of humor, let us now focus our attentions on the word
