Why Men Love Bitches

10 THE New AND Improved BITCH The Survival Guide for Women Who Are Too Nice

“Always give them the old

fire. Even when you feel like

a squashed cake of ice.”

—ETHEL MERMAN

The Bitch Stands Her Ground

The “new and improved” bitch is not a bad thing. She is a refined version of the proverbial, “old” bitch. She’s not abrasive or mean, nor does she nag to get what she wants. She speaks with her actions, and she’s only a bitch when she has to be. One of the most telling signs that a woman “has arrived” is that she’s not obsessed with pleasing a man, or anyone other than herself. Who is this “new and improved bitch?” See the following definition:

Bitch (noun): A woman who won’t bang her head against the wall obsessing over someone else’s opinion— be it a man or anyone else in her life. She understands that if someone does not approve of her, it’s just one person’s opinion; therefore, it’s of no real importance. She doesn’t try to live up to anyone else’s standards— only her own. Because of this, she relates to a man very differently.

The bitch also perceives herself differently. She’ll get into the “boxing ring,” so to speak, with the mindset that she’s an “equal opponent” to a man. With a nice girl, a man automatically thinks of himself as the “heavyweight” and of her as the “featherweight” (a.k.a., the underdog). A confident woman who enters the ring and doesn’t go down without a fight earns the respect of a man, even if she loses. Why? Because then he knows she’s a woman with heart. If she goes down, she goes down swinging. And when they step out of the ring, he can’t help but have more respect for her.

The bitch behaves in a way that a man understands. She speaks to him in the same language he uses when he talks to his male friends, which, again, lets him know she’s on a level playing field. She is able to communicate without a lot of “gray area,” and she’s forthright. Don’t think this matters? Take a peek at a side-by-side comparison:

THE NICE GIRL	THE BITCH
She’ll try to sweet-talk a man into giving her what she wants on a regular basis. If she doesn’t get it, she’ll cry, get upset, or pout.	She won’t sugarcoat anything or use euphemisms. She is direct about what her preferences are and lets him know what the dos and don’ts are, with respect to how he treats her.
She’ll play the guilt card or talk about her “inner child”; she seems to possess a childlike quality.	She is a grown woman, so there’s nothing “childlike” about her. She has a no- nonsense philosophy.
If he hurts her in some way she’ll cry. Then she’ll make him apologize and promise not to do it again.	She’ll back off and let her silence do the talking. Then she’ll communicate when she’s ready, on her own terms; at this point, she makes it clear it won’t happen again, because if it does she won’t be around.
She tells herself, “He didn’t mean that.” Or, she makes excuses if he behaves badly.	She notices his disrespect instantly and, without hesitation, calls him on the carpet over it.
She forces herself to do something she is uncomfortable with in order to please a man. She also puts on a happy face and pretends that she likes it.	She won’t do anything she’s not comfortable with and won’t hesitate to let him know. She meets him on a level playing field.
ONE = A DOCILE WOMAN = LOSS OF RESPECT	THE OTHER = A DESIRABLE WOMAN = INCREASED RESPECT

Rarely, if ever, will two grown men have a drawn-out conversation that ends with: “You hurt my feelings!” The closest thing a man will say to another man about feelings is, “You really pissed me off”.

As an example, hypothetically, one guy may borrow money from his friend and not pay it back. A long mushy conversation will not take place. If any exchange happens at all, it’s short and sweet and ends with, “Screw you, asshole!” Then they stop hanging out together and that’s the end of it.

Because the bitch will “tell it like it is,” a man will respect the way she communicates. In a man’s eyes, anger isn’t weakness. He’ll think she has more self-control than a woman who is emotional. With the emotional woman, he’ll rationalize that she’s hormonally unbalanced because of her monthly cycle. Or he’ll think she’s weak. But, with a bitch, he’ll think she knows what she does and doesn’t want. She knows what she likes and what she dislikes. She has “spirit.” (And I don’t mean the cheerleading kind.)

When you say the word B-I-T-C-H out loud, don’t say it like it’s a bad thing. According to some, the word derives from the first letters in the following phrase: Babe In Total Control of Herself. The only higher crown, the only higher honor, is to be called a “High-Maintenance Bitch.” It’s a sign of success, indicating that this is the woman the guy ends up keeping. If nothing else, he keeps her for the very practical reason that he’s invested so much that he can’t let her go. And he’s still trying to win her over.