The Bro Code

ARTICLE 93

Bros don't speak French to one another.

ARTICLE 94

If a Bro is in the bathroom and runs out of toilet paper, another Bro may toss him a new roll, but at no point may their hands touch or the door open more than 30 degrees.

ARTICLE 95

A Bro shall alert another Bro to the presence of a chesty woman, regardless of whether or not he knows the Bro. Such alerts may not be administered verbally.

HOW TO SIGNAL WHEN BOOBS ARE PRESENT

THE SHOE TAP — To be avoided in public restrooms

THE EYE REDIRECT

THE SWIFT SHIN KICK — D cups and up only, please

ARTICLE 96

Bros shall go camping once a year, or at least attempt to start a fire.

NOTE: Attempt to start a fire outside.

ARTICLE 97

Where a Bro went to college is going to kick his Bro's college's ass all over the field this weekend.

ARTICLE 98

A Bro never lies to his Bros about the hotness of chicks at a given social venue or event

SIDE-BRO: THE BRO WHO CRIED 'HOT CHICKS'

There once lived a Bro who would text his Bros: 'Hot chicks in the bar tonight!' When his Bros would arrive to wingman him, he would laugh at them for there were no hot. chicks, just, like, a lot of dudes or something. The Bro did this a couple of times because he thought it was hysterical — and it kind of is — until one night he walked into the bar to discover a Hawaiian Tropic calendar shoot taking place. The Bro texted his Bros in terror: 'Dudes, seriously need a wingman right now… hot-chick calendar shoot!' But this time his Bros paid no heed to his cry, nor did they leave their video game marathon to assist him. The Bro tried to score a bikini babe on his own, but with no wingman, he was torn to pieces by the entire flock.

There is no believing a Bro who lies about hot chicks, even when he speaks the truth.

ARTICLE 99

A Bro never asks for directions when lost.

EXCEPTION: A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick who seems to know the area.

EXCEPTION: A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if she also appears lost.

EXCEPTION: A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if he is not lost at all.

ARTICLE 100

When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection.

COROLLARY: If there happens to be a hot chick driving the car next to the Bro, the Bro shall pull his sunglasses down to get a better look. If he's not wearing his sunglasses, he will first put them on, then pull them down to get a better look.

ARTICLE 101

If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his grave[14].This is what makes them Bros, not chicks.

NOTE: A woman's lust for gossip is matched only by her passion to have babies and accessorize. As such, a Bro should take heed when divulging a secret to a married Bro.

ARTICLE 102