The Bro Code

A Bro shall take great care in selecting and training his wingman

WINGMAN APPLICATION

Name:

Alias:

^{(e.g., Jack Package, the Barnacle)}

Special Skills:

^{(e.g., PowerPoint, speak German, masseur)}

On the scale below, please rate your attractiveness.

1 — 2–3 — 4–5 — 6–7 — 8–9 — Barney Stinson

Multiple Choice

1. You are the sessions drummer for Van Halen. Who is not your lead singer?

a. David Lee Roth

b. Gary Cherone

c. Sammy Hagar

d. Barney Stinson

2. Historically, a chick does not enjoy jokes about her:

a. face

b. shoes

c. intelligence

d. none of the above

Short Answer

You are character A. Character B is your wingman. Explain what game you would run and why.

Essay Question

On the back of this application, write about a person who has made a significant impact on your life.

ARTICLE 103

A Bro never wears socks with sandals. He commits to one cohesive footgear plan and sticks with it.

ARTICLE 104

The mom of a Bro is always off-limits. But the stepmom of a Bro is fair game if she initiates and/or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing… provided she looks good in it… but not if she smokes menthol cigarettes.

Be it here resolved that at no point is it permissible for one Bro to engage in carnal delicacies with another Bro's mother. It is, however, allowed and encouraged for one Bro to graphically suggest to a Bro the athletic feats, animalia, and/or machinery utilized during a fictional encounter with his mom. (Nota bene: It is customary for a Bro to avoid such Brocularity if his Bro's mom is a nine or better, for fear of Ocdipal inducement.) Should a Bro discover his Bro is adopted, he is free to pursue his Bro's adoptive mother, but only after first corroborating nonbiological parentage through notarized binh certificates, hospital records, or comparative deoxyribonucleic acid gel electrophoresis, whichever is most convenient.

ARTICLE 105

If a Bro is not invited to another Bro's wedding, he doesn't make a big deal out of it, even if, let's face it, he was kind of responsible for setting up the couple and had already picked out the perfect wedding gift and everything. It's cool. No big whoop.

ARTICLE 106

Given an option on quantity when ordering a beer with his Bros, a Bro always selects the largest size available or shall never hear the end of it that night.

ARTICLE 107

A Bro never leaves another Bro hanging.

Besides the obvious health hazards inherent in keeping an arm aloft for an extended period of time, the emotional effects of leaving a Bro out to dry in public can be devastating. If you ever see a Bro, even one you don't know, looking around frantically with a paw held high in the air, throw him a Brone and hit him up top.

COMMON BRO FIVES

CLASSIC FIVE

THE FIST BUMP

THE EXPLODING FIST BUMP

AROUND THE WORLD

THE SELF FIVE

THE RELAPSE FIVE