“I put the new paperwork on your desk.”
I looked over the paperwork with several crossed out items and penned in changes, none of which I found acceptable. I sat back in my chair feeling completely defeated.
“I have an idea,” Kyle said standing in front of my desk.
“Let’s hear it.” Why couldn’t anything go right, just once?
“Bidding war.”
I arched a brow. “Is that possible?”
“I think so. If you’re serious about this.”
I leaned forward and looked Kyle directly in the eyes. “I’m serious.”
There was a flash of disappointment, which I understood. Things would be changing for Kyle and everyone else here. But as much as I liked Kyle, Terra and my family came first. This was my best course of action.
“You don’t think I’m doing the right thing?” I asked anyway. He deserved to have input since this was going to affect him.
“I do. I don’t necessarily like it, but I get it. And I want to help you achieve this.”
“Thank you, Kyle.”
He stood. “I’ll go make a couple of calls and see what sort of trouble I can stir up.”
I laughed. “You’re good a trouble.”
When he left, I looked at the paperwork, and pulled out my own pen to respond. My phone bleeped with a text notification.
The kids and I are going to stay with my dad.
My heart fell. She was finally doing it. She was leaving me.
My fingers shook, from anger and fear as I texted back. Don’t give up on me, Terra.
Then, thinking this conversation wasn’t right to have via text, I dialed her number. As I waited for her to pick up, my phone notified me of another text.
I haven’t told him about the cancer. I need to see him.
My brain scrambled for how to respond. Maybe she wasn’t leaving after all. I’ll meet you there after work.
No. Please don’t come.
I closed my eyes as I realized it was already too late. She was done. I was on the verge of putting everything right, but it was too late.
You’re leaving me over text? I don’t know why I was surprised. She’d consulted a lawyer without my knowing. Why would she tell me she was planning to leave? I’m sure she’d say it was because she never saw me, but it wasn’t like I was never home. I was in my bed, alone, every night. She could talk to me then.
Just a week.
A week. So, she wasn’t leaving or her time away was a test run for divorce? I wanted to ask about the kids’ education, but her father lived on the outskirts of Seattle, not that far away that she couldn’t get the kids to and from school.
Am I expected to go a week without seeing the kids?
There was a pause that made me think she hadn’t considered I’d miss them. It pissed me off even though I knew it was my own damn fault.
If you want to pick them up any day after school and spend time with them, you can. Let me know.
I wanted to suggest that she leave the kids with me, but clearly, that wasn’t possible right now. I couldn’t take the time, which highlighted why all this was happening.
I wanted to talk to her, yell at her even. But my marriage was on the line and I had to tread carefully.
I want to see all of you.
Again, there was a delay before the text came through.
I need this break, Brayden. I need to sort things out.
I had no choice but to go along with her as much as I hated it. As angry and hurt as I was, what I wanted was for her to not give up on me. I had to say something that would cause her to give me a chance or to not write me off completely.
Do me a favor while you’re there. Don’t forget that I love you.
I waited ten minutes before I accepted that she wasn’t going to reply. I was an idiot to sit there and not go after her, and yet, it was clear she wanted time away. Would I do more damage by giving her time or by demanding that she talk to me? Why was talking to her so fucking hard when in the beginning it had been so easy?
“I got a bite,” Kyle said sticking his head in the door. “Actually, I’ve got two.”
There was one thing I could be counted on, which was why my marriage was failing. I motioned Kyle in, and got to work.
I felt like a terrible father that I didn’t arrange to see my kids everyday while Terra was with her father. But I realized that even when they were home, I didn’t always see them or see them very much. It was a reminder how self-centered I really was and something that was going to change. I had to hope Terra would give me another chance, but even if she didn’t, I would do better with the kids. I just needed to get through this week and I’d be able to dedicate more time to them.
On Wednesday, I went to the cancer support group, and then later that afternoon, I picked up the kids from school. They acted the same which I was thankful for. They didn’t seem to feel like I’d abandoned them or their mother had taken them away. I took them to the park and then to dinner, hearing all about what they were learning at school and some of the things they were doing at their grandfather’s house.
“Do you miss us daddy,” Lanie asked over dinner.
“Terribly, baby. I miss you all so much.” It was true. Somehow, even though I’d been gone a lot, knowing they were at home every night I came home was comforting. Now I was coming home to an empty house. Waking up to silence. It was fucking horrible.
“Is George okay?” Noah asked me dipping his fry in ketchup.
“He misses you too,” I said, glad that I remembered to check on him and give
