Intensity bounces back and forth between us as I contemplate my response. Do I unleash the fury running through my veins and give him the satisfaction of voicing every doubt I feel myself? Or do I remain stoic, preserve my dignity, and hope to God he’s not right.
Ultimately, I decide on a blend of the two. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Judge Matthews. Yes, I have a past. I was in prison for two years for aggravated assault. I beat a man within an inch of his life and I’d do it again.” He retracts slightly at my admission. “But rest assured, I am a good man who’s just trying to pick up the pieces of his life and be better, do better. Your daughter has helped me become the man I knew I always could be. It’s a shame that you don’t believe in her enough to make decisions for herself.”
“It’s not my daughter’s job to repair you, young man.” He stands up now from the couch, towering over my head, enforcing his superiority over me. “My daughter is too pure for someone like you.”
Pushing myself up from the couch, I look into his eyes and reply, “I know she is. Thank you for the dinner, sir. But I think it’s best if we leave now.”
“I do too.”
By the time we make it back to the kitchen where Sydney and Heather were sitting at the island having glasses of wine, my pulse is firing so fast it’s all I can do to wait for her to say goodbye to her parents.
When we settle into my truck and I head for my place, Sydney finally breaks the silence.
“Okay, how bad was it?”
“How bad was what?”
I hear her sigh in annoyance beside me as we cruise closer to my side of town. “Don’t play stupid with me, Javi. What did my dad say to you?”
“What makes you think he said something?”
She turns slightly in her seat, facing me in my peripheral vision. “Because you came from his study more tense than when we arrived. And you haven’t said a word since we left.” She huffs out a harsh breath and then turns back to face the windshield. “I knew we never should have gone over there.”
“Don’t worry about it. It needed to happen.”
“Is that what you think?”
I nod, avoiding her eyes so she won’t see the doubt swimming in mine. All I keep hearing in my mind is George Matthews telling me that it’s not his daughter’s job to repair me, that she’ll realize I’m not good enough for her and never will be. He didn’t even have to say those words exactly, but I knew what he meant, what he was implying.
The one obstacle in our relationship I was dreading to face ended up being as bad as I thought it would be. Every moment of bliss we’ve experienced in the last two months seems all for nothing after one conversation with her father. No matter what I do, he will never accept me, or us as a couple. And even though Sydney says she can handle it, she shouldn’t have to choose between her family and me. I would never ask her to do that, and I never want her to resent me for a broken relationship with her parents down the road. I barely live with the guilt I harbor inside as it is—I don’t need any more.
By the time we reach my driveway, I can feel Sydney stewing beside me.
“So are we going to talk about what happened tonight? Or are you just going to blow me off?” She slams her purse on the counter once we go inside my place.
Running my hand through my hair, I debate how to say what I need to say. Her aqua eyes glare at me, casting irritation in my direction, even though in a moment she’s probably going to be spewing hatred instead.
“I don’t know what you want me to say? I think you probably know what your father said to me.”
“No, I don’t because you won’t tell me.”
“Well, in a nutshell, he basically told me I’m not good enough for you and never will be.”
“You don’t believe him, do you?” Her face conforms with worry and my heart bleeds a little at the sight.
“It’s hard not to.”
She brings her palms to her face and lets her head fall into her hands. “God, I knew I never should have agreed to taking you over there.”
“So, what? You were going to keep me from him forever because you were afraid that his words would get to me?”
“Can you blame me?” she shouts, throwing her hands out wide. “You’re clearly freaking out from what he said. This reaction from you was exactly what I was afraid of.”
“I’m not freaking out. I’m accepting what I’ve always known deep down. I’ll never be what you need, Sydney. What you deserve. It’s better that we realize this now.”
Her bottom lips trembles. “Is that what you think?”
“I’m pretty sure your father made that perfectly clear earlier.”
“What about what I want, Javi? Doesn’t that count for anything?”
I shake my head. “I can’t give you what you want, Sydney. This was a mistake. We never should have crossed that line.” I turn my back to her as I step further into the living room, but then twist around to see her moving toward me.
She stares at me with moisture building in her eyes, swaying her head back in forth, a pure look of disappointment crossing her features. “You’re a coward, Javier Montes. And stupid me wanted to believe that you were capable of more.”
“I told you I couldn’t give that to you.”
“Yeah, you did. But now, I think it’s just an excuse. Because I know you’re capable of it. You’ve shown me
