"She wasn't waiting for me," I insisted. "I just didn't tell her I was on my way home, that's all."
Christian groaned, smacking his forehead. "Jesus, Nick. Listen to yourself. You're so locked into thinking Gabbie couldn't possibly feel about you the way you feel about her that you're ignoring the facts right in front of you." He massaged his temples, then continued. "She had a crush on all of us growing up, you can't tell me you never noticed that. But the day you'd proposed to her? The look in her eyes changed. She didn't look at any of us the same way again. She only had eyes for you. She loves you, Nick. She always has."
I closed my eyes and shook my head. How could she love me? I was so much older than her. Sure, she'd been the one who'd suggested we renew our vows instead of getting a divorce. But that meant nothing, did it? Living with me, her life was easy. She didn't have to work, not really. She took care of the house and did most of the cooking, but even those things she didn't have to do if she didn't want to. If we got divorced, her entire life would change. Staying together was the easy option.
It didn't mean she loved me that way.
"Don't be an idiot," Christian growled, like he really could read my mind. He glared at me, and I flinched under the look. Finally, he let out a breath and leaned back in his chair again. "Look, you're welcome to stay here for a bit, to get your head on straight. But then you need to go home and talk to your wife. Really talk to her. Tell her how you feel. And when she tells you she feels the same way, fucking listen to her."
He drank the last of his Scotch, then walked out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
So much for him helping me sort through everything.
I frowned at the empty glass in my hand, unable to stop thinking about what Christian had said. Could Gabbie really feel that way about me? Could she actually be in love with me? Even if she'd had a crush on us growing up, that was when we were all young and stupid. She'd have grown out of puppy love like that.
But had she?
Closing my eyes, I leaned back in the chair and took deep breaths. The other night, when I'd been so stressed after work, she'd come into the bathroom and immediately massaged my shoulders. She'd asked me repeatedly how she could help me relax and take some of the load off my shoulders. That wasn't something a friend would do, not in that way at least.
But we weren't just friends either. She was my wife, even if we hadn't ever consummated that marriage until now. We were as close as two people could be, sharing almost everything with each other.
Even if she hadn't been romantically or sexually interested in me before, could that have changed? We'd spent so much time together over the years. It was possible she'd grown to love me that way. But if that was true, was that okay? Wouldn't that be the same as taking advantage of her?
God, my mind was still in a jumble. Talking with Christian had only made things even more confusing, given me more things to think about.
I went through two more glasses of Scotch as I struggled to figure everything out. Even after that though, I still hadn't come to a real conclusion. Each time I thought I had everything figured out, five more questions would pop up that would muddle everything again. It was like I was going around in an endless circle, like there was no way for me to come up with an actual answer.
The only thing I was certain about was the way I felt for Gabbie. I loved her more than anything else on the planet. Knowing that I'd hurt her, or might have hurt her, hurt me as well. I was her husband. But, more than that, I was her friend. It was my job to take care of her, to protect her. And I'd failed at that. I wasn't sure if I could ever make up for what I'd done, but I had to at least try.
And the only way I would ever get any actual answers was to listen to my brother. I needed to go back to the house and talk to Gabbie.
7
Gabbie
Shivering, I groped around blindly, finding the blanket and pulling it up over myself. With a sigh, I snuggled into it, warmth washing over me. But still, it wasn't enough to block out the cold, wasn't enough to allow me to drift back to sleep. I kept my eyes squeezed shut, focused on my breathing, and tried like Hell to return to the dream I'd been having.
I squirmed and grinned as I remembered the dream, remembered Nick's hands all over my body, his cock inside me. Then, I realized the reason I was so cold was because I was naked. My eyes flew open as I looked around the room, trying to figure out why I was naked. Then, the scent of sex hit me all at once and I collapsed back onto the bed, grinning up at the ceiling.
It hadn't been a dream. At least, not all of it. Nick and I had sex together, finally. And it had been extraordinary. I remembered falling asleep in his arms, our naked bodies pressed together. Giggling, I squirmed around beneath the blanket as I replayed everything in my mind. My entire body filled with warmth as the memories came back and I couldn't stop smiling.
I'd waited so many years for that, so many years....
With a sigh, I spread myself out on the bed. Already I craved more, wanted to
