Couldn't someone hurry up and answer the door already?
It was so tempting to keep ringing the doorbell until someone answers, but I reined in that impulse. It hadn't been that long; I was just being impatient. I needed to get my head on straight if I wanted to figure out what I would do next.
When I saw Emma through the glass heading my way, it was like someone dropped a bucket of ice water on my head. I was hyperaware of everything. The birds chirping in the trees was ear piercing. The winter breeze was freezing. My heart was close to bursting out of my chest.
"What are you doing here?" Emma asked with a smirk as she opened the door. Then, her eyes narrowed in on the suitcase next to me before returning to my face. Her expression changed instantly as she pulled me inside and kicked the door shut as she wrapped her arms around me. "Oh god, what's happened?"
I couldn't fight back the tears. They all came out as words spewed from my mouth. It all came out in a rush, and I couldn't have stopped it even if I wanted to.
Emma stood there, her arms wrapped around me, listening to my never-ending word vomit. Her grasp was comforting, and I leaned against the younger woman, hating myself for needing her this much. I should've been able to handle this on my own, but I couldn't. When Nick hadn't come home something inside me had broken, and I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to fix it.
"Come on," Emma said once I'd finished my blubbery tale. She squeezed me one last time, then took my suitcase in one hand and my arm in the other, leading me toward the stairs. "You can stay here as long as you need to. Jack's out of town anyway, so it'll give me someone to talk to who isn't still in elementary school."
I laughed at Emma's little joke, using my freehand to brush away the tears. I was glad Jack wasn't home. I doubted I'd be able to face his brothers for a while. No, I needed some girl time, someone I could talk openly and honestly to, and the person was Emma.
"What about Holly?" I asked, looking around for the girl. She hadn't come running out to greet me like she normally did, so I figured she wasn't home. I couldn't be sure though, and I didn't want to risk Holly overhearing things she was much too young to understand.
"She'll still be in bed for at least a couple more hours." Emma glanced over at me and smirked. "She's at that age where she wants to stay up all night and sleep all day whenever she can. She's been up watching those Hallmark Christmas movies they air twenty-four-seven this time of year."
Despite the turmoil inside me, I smiled at the thought. I'd done the same things when I was her age. Back then though we didn't have a giant in-house theater with surround sound and reclining chairs. We had a fairly nice set-up, compared to most people, but it wasn't nearly the immersive paradise Holly was lucky enough to have.
"Sounds like she had a better night than me," I said, trying to lighten the mood. I wished I'd been with her. Watching cheesy romance flicks was much preferable to realizing you'd chased off your own husband. Wallowing in pity wouldn’t help me get over him though.
Emma snickered, shaking her head. "So, how long do you think it'll take for him to get his head on straight?" Emma asked as she lead me into one of the guest rooms.
Sometimes, I could kiss her for her optimism. Today, however, was not one of those days. I walked over and flopped down onto the bed. I'd slept like shit last night, and I had a strong urge to just close my eyes and hope the world was right-side up when I opened them again.
"I don't think he will," I said, flinching at the bitterness in my voice. "It's obvious he wants nothing to do with me. You'd think I could've accepted that by now. But no, I had my head so far up my ass that I couldn't see the writing on the wall."
The bed shifted as Emma sat down next to me, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Don't be like that. This isn't your fault."
"Yes, it is!" I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut, refusing to even look at Emma. "I'm such an idiot."
"Oh, girl...." Emma let out a sigh. I didn't need to look at her to know she was shaking her head. "If he felt that way about you, he wouldn't have stayed married to you. Hell, he wouldn't have married you in the first place."
I wanted to believe her, really I did. And I couldn't explain why he would stay married if he didn't want to have an actual marriage. But deep down, I knew the truth. I'd forced myself on Nick, taken advantage of him, and now he wouldn't ever want to see me again. There wouldn't be any coming back from this that I could see.
"Maybe I should talk to him, tell him the whole thing was my idea. Tell him I'm the one who put you up to it, that you'd had a few glasses of wine and I'd talked you into it. Maybe then he'll forgive you?" Emma suggested.
"Forgive her for what?" a sleepy voice said from the doorway. "And why are you here, Aunt Gabbie?"
I sat up abruptly, my eyes flying to the doorway. Holly was standing there, still wearing her nightie and rubbing sleep
