She couldn’t hold back anymore, and she didn’t want to anyway. She trusted Maggie. “It’s just…a couple of days ago, I told her about my complicated relationship with my mother. I didn’t grow up with her and when she took me to live with her, I was so happy…” Her eyes started to burn again, and Lena pressed them shut. She had wasted too many tears on her mother already. “I found out too late that she only wanted me as a cheap babysitter. I thought I was over it, but obviously I wasn’t. Jess opened an old wound.”
“Jess asked you to be her babysitter even after you told her about your mother?” Maggie growled. “That girl!”
Lena flinched. “She didn’t know about my mother using me, at least not all of it.” Because she had done herself what she accused Jess of: stayed on the surface and not opened deeply enough. “And I hurt her too. I said things she didn’t want to hear. That her way of handling Ella’s care wasn’t working out. And I accused her of…” Lena buried her face in her hands and rubbed her eyes.
“But maybe she needed to hear that.” Maggie sighed. “Jess brooded and sulked around all weekend, and she wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t hit a nerve. The truth can be hurtful, but ultimately she’ll benefit from it.”
She’d accused Jess of killing her mother. That wasn’t only hurtful and wrong, but uncalled for. Did Maggie know? She swallowed and let her hands drop to face Maggie. “Did she talk to you?”
“Not yet. It usually takes a while.” Maggie smiled ruefully.
Relief flooded Lena, immediately followed by another wave of guilt.
Maggie didn’t seem to notice either. “Why don’t you wait a few days before you decide whether you move out or not? And talk to Jess again after you two have cooled down. Maybe this argument between you two will work itself out. Jess won’t be here that much this week because she has two nights on call.”
Yesterday, moving out had seemed the best solution, but maybe Maggie was right. The garden house had become her home. Running away wasn’t a solution but a childish way of avoiding her problems. She shouldn’t let her fear of getting hurt direct her life. “Okay. I’ll stay and see how it is.”
Maggie sipped her coffee and studied Lena for a moment. “Tell me if I can do anything for you. Do you want to take the day off?”
“No, I’d rather work and get my mind on other things.” The next couple of evenings and nights would be enough time to reflect on her behavior. “If that’s okay with you?”
“Sure. If you want to get your mind on something completely different, I have a proposal for you. Friday evening, I had dinner with some former colleagues from the university. I was showing them pictures of Ella on my phone and some pictures of your sketches were between them. My friend Joanne loved them.”
“Thank you.” Lena had long ago given up her dream of sharing her art with other people but that didn’t meant she couldn’t appreciate compliments. “That really brightens up my day.”
“You haven’t heard the proposal yet. Joanne is an art professor at the University of Washington, and she’s teaching a course on botanical illustration this year. She’s offered to let you take the course if that’s something you’d be interested in.”
“Art professor? At the university?” Lena’s voice was shaking, and she resisted the urge to pinch herself. “But I don’t have any qualifications or formal training.”
“But you have talent and an eye for details.” Maggie shrugged. “Joanne loved what she saw and thinks you’re more than qualified.”
For a moment, Lena let herself dream. She’d take the course, meet other art students, learn about the craft. But then reality snatched her out of her vision, and she slumped down in her seat. “Thank you. But I can’t afford it, and I won’t have the time to spare because I’m working.”
“You don’t need to pay. You can sit in on the class for free. And we’ll make time for it. Providing you want to continue working with me?”
“Yes, of course. Even if Jess can’t forgive me, I would still like to work with you.” A load lifted from Lena’s shoulder. Maggie wouldn’t let her go because of Jess. “But the other offer, I’m overwhelmed. I need to think about it.”
“Take your time. She won’t take it back. If you want to, I can invite her over and you two can talk informally. Let me know what you prefer.”
“Thanks.” Lena took the last bite of her cinnamon roll. The offer was tempting, but she needed to sleep on it. Today she was too emotionally drained to make a decision. With a look at Maggie’s plate and cup, she confirmed that she had finished her breakfast too. “Can we start work now? I think I need to do something that is absolutely not related to any of my emotional problems.”
Maggie laughed. “How about sorting my stack of handwritten notes? That might be problematic but at least not emotionally.”
At the sight of Lena’s car, Jess’s heartbeat quickened. Not in anger but with relief and anticipation. Not knowing where Lena was the last couple of days had been exhausting. Jess had no right to know about Lena’s comings and goings, but the possibility she had chased Lena away had filled her stomach with lead.
Jess wasn’t up to facing her yet. She had given their discussion more than enough thought but still wasn’t sure she had a good grip on the problems that had come up during their arguments. That was why she had finished work extra early today and intended to talk to her mom.
The patio was empty, but the doors to the kitchen stood wide open. Jess followed the scent of fresh vegetables and herbs. Her mom was cooking, and Ella lay in her
