“Yeah, the swingers bar that youse always go to when we come here. So what? I don’t see what your drunken night out and casual sexcapades have to do with Lily,” I snapped.
They looked at each other trying to think of a way to put it into words nicely what they had seen. Nudging each other trying to get the other to speak first.
“She was in there,” I said, my voice barely as whisper as it all clicked into place.
“Yeah, she was. With two guys, making out. We walked in on them; we didn’t mean to,” Teddy commented. “But we thought you should know.”
“Get out, just get out!” I screamed. Fuck being sober, I needed a drink!
Lily’s POV
I was hurting more than I had ever thought possible. The tour rolling on, the harder it was to be around Adrian, to feel all the mixed-up emotions that I felt for him. Along with all the excess baggage from the other ex. As well as the massive life adjustment to trying to cope with touring. It was all just too much. Which was why I was actually stupid enough and drunk enough tonight to try something that was completely not me to try and survive this insanity. Hell, this was my ex’s world not mine, it had always worked for him. He had always put sex as the most important thing in his life. More important than anything else, work, money, family, and certainly a lot higher than me in his life. Whenever he spoke about his relationships, it was never his ‘love life’. Just his ‘sex life’. Making each new date just another notch on his bedpost.
I was not the type to sleep around, only with people I loved until he made me just another notch as well. I was foolish enough to think that he had changed, that he was ready to settle down. That things would be different this time. He had promised me that much. Of course, he lied, promises broken like so many others that came before and after. Until I couldn’t trust another word he said anymore. Until I could no longer tell the truth from the lies. Until I had started to doubt my own mind.
I ended up having the odd one-night stand, but other than Adrian, who had fast become a much longer sexual relationship, I hadn’t really dated anyone. After I found out the truth about him, I hadn’t slept with a single person since. But these last few weeks, the itch to be with someone had been growing, hell I nearly kissed Adrian the other night when we were on stage. He looked too damn good in those tight ass jeans. So totally my type. I really needed to quit this tour!
A highly sexed performance tonight again was what led me after a few bottles of wine to dress up in a sexy black dress, beautiful lace under it and google one of ‘those type’ of clubs. The internet was a wealth of knowledge for anything you wanted, even sex.
A few more drinks later, it seemed like a great time to play out one of my fantasies. When I found myself offered to go in the back by two unbelievably beautiful men. Quickly I had found myself semi naked, one man kissing my neck as the other traced his way down my naked breasts. Lost in the moment until that blasted door had opened, letting in the second worst sight possible. Two members of the band were staring at us. I mentally cursed myself for forgetting to lock that damn door.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Callum said blushing and ducking outside.
“Shit.” I grabbed my dress, pulling it on as I chased after him. “Look, you can’t tell Adrian what you saw, okay?”
He rolled his eyes at me. “If you want to be a skank and cheat on him that is your choice, but I sure as hell am not gonna hide it from him. He deserves to know what you are.”
“A skank I may be, but a cheat I am not and never will be. We are not together! We haven’t been since long before this tour.”
“That man is devoted to you, he would do anything to get back together with you and you damn well know it, but here you are giving it away like some cheap slut. You don’t deserve him,” Callum retorted.
“Oh, so it is okay for him to sleep around but not me? Typical, hate on the woman as always. Perfect!”
“Actually, he hasn’t slept with anyone since you. He just let you think he had. Think on that.”
I was left alone with my thoughts, looking back into the room where the two guys were kissing each other. I couldn’t do this; this had been a complete and utter mistake. I wasn’t over Adrian and this was not the way to try to be. I wasn’t sure what was the way to get over him, but I knew I couldn’t stay here. The very idea of it made me feel ill. I fetched my belongings from my locker and headed out onto the street. Taking a long walk along the river to clear my head. I wasn’t even sure what country we were in now, or what city, but the skyline was beautiful. Nothing on the Liffey, but maybe it could do for one more night. Strange that even now, after everything, I still didn’t feel the desire to throw myself into the water. I guess I had to call that growth.
Dawn was breaking as I got back to my hotel room, I was drunk still, more drunk than I had ever been. I found some off license about to close up and bought some cheap vodka to keep me company as I
