Sometimes you turn a man off if youdon'tuse his trigger words. I interviewed a man at The Project who said he got very excited when he heard the wordscrewing, but his girlfriend
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always said making love . He loved his girlfriend and, of course, when screwing her, he said he was feeling love. But he longed to have her just once say, "Dear, pleassecrewme."
Huntresses, give your Quarry a rare treat, a sexual thrill he doesn't usually get from a woman he's in a relationship with. You can do it almost any time, any place—on the phone, across the dinner table, while walking in the mall. Simply whisper his trigge r words in his ear.
Give Your Quarry Good Bed Rap
The pinnacle auditory sexual experience for your Quarry is hearing his own special hot words coming across the pillow from you to him during sex. Above all, when the two of you are in bed together, use hiswords, not yours. No matter how dumb the words sound to you, if he's told you they're a turn-on for him, believe it.
TECHNIQUE #81:
BED RAP
Huntresses, remember all the details of his answer when you asked him, "What turns you on?"
Bring those sexual fantasies into bed with the two of you. Make up bedtime stories for him. Be his own private 900-number especially when it counts—
during sex.
Along with the words, invoke your Quarry's fantasies in bed. Find a way to bring up the hot stories he's told you. For example, if your Quarry had the "Barb and Di" fantasy we spoke about earlier, during foreplay, ask him with a mischievous sparkle in your eye, "Hey, how are Barb and Di doing?" If this is the first time you're using this technique with him,
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he might mumble something like, "Uh, gee, I was thinking aboyuotu , Sweetie." Then you say, "I wasn't.
I was thinking about Barb and Di. That really is very exciting."
Talking a man through his fantasies during sex is callebded rap . Huntresses, it's not entirely selfless. A good bed rap keeps the needle high on the crude, old-fashioned peter-meter for your ultimate pleasure.
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Women?
Chalk it up as yet another drop in the ever-expanding ocean of gender differences. You will not thrill a woman if, on your first date, you embark on an inquisition about her sexual fantasies. A woman would probably misinterpret your asking "What turns you on?" too early in your relationship. You would sound crude. Additionally, women are more private about their fantasies and do not feel the same need to share them.
However, you still need the answer to the crucial question, "What turns you on?" The goal is the same, gentlemen, but the method of getting there is different. After you are into an intimate relationship with her, ask your Quarry (with caution) about previous relationships—what she liked, what she didn't like. Proceed slowly, and let her know your motivation. You are not being nosy. You are so thrilled with the pleasure she gives you that you want to reciprocate by giving her
pleasure. Therefore, you'd like to know what she has enjoyed in the past. This opens the door for her to give you any guidance or directions if she wants to.
If she prefers not to talk, however, don't press. Step softly, tread gently. If, from what she's willing to divulge, you can pick
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up some useful information on her sexual attitudes and preferences, you're ahead of the game.
Keep in mind that your Quarry is excited by you as more of a total package. Her sexuality is not as specific. Your technique between the sheets is important but, for a woman, her interest in you runs deeper than that. All of your wonderful qualities and actions, in bed and out, add to her excitement over you.
Gentlemen, whenever I ask a girlfriend what it is that sexually excites her about her current lover, I hear descriptive words likebrilliant, sensitive, responsible, honest , and a myriad of other qualities that you think have nothing to do with what goes on under the sheets. Those qualities add to her excitement over you, even when the lights are out.
Both Hunters and Huntresses can use another technique to net their prey. Hunters should pay special attention, because this advice is more potent for you. Uncover another kind of fantasy, a deeper one which involves your Quarry's psychosexual needs.
Peel Back Her Layers and Lay Bare Her
Deeper Fantasies
Hunters, women, too, have hot sexual fantasies—
intense sexual fantasies, recurring sexual fantasies.
Gentlemen, if you manage to fulfill a woman's sexual fantasies, you've taken a big step toward making her love you. But you can take a greater leap into he r heart, a more effective stride toward achieving your goal: Fulfill herrelationship fantasies. As no two people have precisely the same sexual fantasies, so no two people have the same relationship fantasies.
Another generalization, but just as men have more specificsexual desires, women have more specific relationship desires.
I have a friend named Dana, a thirty-six-year-old, very attractive brunette who has a nightclub act. Her physical beauty outweighs her talent, but she manages to get booked in small cocktail lounges around the country. Dana feels her singing days are numbered, and she desperately wants to get married.
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I hadn't seen Dana in several years, but we recently found ourselves in the same town. She was performing at a small club near my hotel. I went to see her show and, after her act, we sat down to catch up on old times. I asked Dana how things had been going. "Lonely," she said. After all these years, she was still aching to meet Mr. Right.
I asked, "Dana, you meet so many men, and I know a lot of them are crazy about you. What are Although she meets hundreds of men every year, she hasn't found her Prince Charming.
you waiting for?" Dana said, "I'm waiting for the right man." "Who is the right man, Dana?" "Well, one who really loves me." she said. "I'm sure lots of men could love you. What
