The Importance of Being Earnest

a really serious engagement if it hadn’t been broken off at least once. But I forgave you before the week was out. Algernon Crossing to her, and kneeling. What a perfect angel you are, Cecily. Cecily You dear romantic boy. He kisses her, she puts her fingers through his hair. I hope your hair curls naturally, does it? Algernon Yes, darling, with a little help from others. Cecily I am so glad. Algernon You’ll never break off our engagement again, Cecily? Cecily I don’t think I could break it off now that I have actually met you. Besides, of course, there is the question of your name. Algernon Yes, of course. Nervously. Cecily You must not laugh at me, darling, but it had always been a girlish dream of mine to love someone whose name was Ernest. Algernon rises, Cecily also. There is something in that name that seems to inspire absolute confidence. I pity any poor married woman whose husband is not called Ernest. Algernon But, my dear child, do you mean to say you could not love me if I had some other name? Cecily But what name? Algernon Oh, any name you like⁠—Algernon⁠—for instance⁠ ⁠… Cecily But I don’t like the name of Algernon. Algernon Well, my own dear, sweet, loving little darling, I really can’t see why you should object to the name of Algernon. It is not at all a bad name. In fact, it is rather an aristocratic name. Half of the chaps who get into the Bankruptcy Court are called Algernon. But seriously, Cecily⁠ ⁠… Moving to her⁠ ⁠… if my name was Algy, couldn’t you love me? Cecily Rising. I might respect you, Ernest, I might admire your character, but I fear that I should not be able to give you my undivided attention. Algernon Ahem! Cecily! Picking up hat. Your Rector here is, I suppose, thoroughly experienced in the practice of all the rites and ceremonials of the Church? Cecily Oh, yes. Dr. Chasuble is a most learned man. He has never written a single book, so you can imagine how much he knows. Algernon I must see him at once on a most important christening⁠—I mean on most important business. Cecily Oh! Algernon I shan’t be away more than half an hour. Cecily Considering that we have been engaged since February the 14th, and that I only met you today for the first time, I think it is rather hard that you should leave me for so long a period as half an hour. Couldn’t you make it twenty minutes? Algernon I’ll be back in no time. Kisses her and rushes down the garden. Cecily What an impetuous boy he is! I like his hair so much. I must enter his proposal in my diary. Enter Merriman. Merriman A Miss Fairfax has just called to see Mr. Worthing. On very important business, Miss Fairfax states. Cecily Isn’t Mr. Worthing in his library? Merriman Mr. Worthing went over in the direction of the Rectory some time ago. Cecily Pray ask the lady to come out here; Mr. Worthing is sure to be back soon. And you can bring tea. Merriman Yes, Miss. Goes out. Cecily Miss Fairfax! I suppose one of the many good elderly women who are associated with Uncle Jack in some of his philanthropic work in London. I don’t quite like women who are interested in philanthropic work. I think it is so forward of them. Enter Merriman. Merriman Miss Fairfax. Enter Gwendolen. Exit Merriman. Cecily Advancing to meet her. Pray let me introduce myself to you. My name is Cecily Cardew. Gwendolen Cecily Cardew? Moving to her and shaking hands. What a very sweet name! Something tells me that we are going to be great friends. I like you already more than I can say. My first impressions of people are never wrong. Cecily How nice of you to like me so much after we have known each other such a comparatively short time. Pray sit down. Gwendolen Still standing up. I may call you Cecily, may I not? Cecily With pleasure! Gwendolen And you will always call me Gwendolen, won’t you? Cecily If you wish. Gwendolen Then that is all quite settled, is it not? Cecily I hope so. A pause. They both sit down together. Gwendolen Perhaps this might be a favourable opportunity for my mentioning who I am. My father is Lord Bracknell. You have never heard of papa, I suppose? Cecily I don’t think so. Gwendolen Outside the family circle, papa, I am glad to say, is entirely unknown. I think that is quite as it should be. The home seems to me to be the proper sphere for the man. And certainly once a man begins to neglect his domestic duties he becomes painfully effeminate, does he not? And I don’t like that. It makes men so very attractive. Cecily, mamma, whose views on education are remarkably strict, has brought me up to be extremely shortsighted; it is part of her system; so do you mind my looking at you through my glasses? Cecily Oh! not at all, Gwendolen. I am very fond of being looked at. Gwendolen After examining Cecily carefully through a lorgnette. You are here on a short visit, I suppose. Cecily Oh no! I live here. Gwendolen Severely. Really? Your mother, no doubt, or some female relative of advanced years, resides here also? Cecily Oh no! I have no mother, nor, in fact, any relations. Gwendolen Indeed? Cecily My dear guardian, with the assistance of Miss Prism, has the arduous task of looking after me. Gwendolen Your guardian? Cecily Yes, I am Mr. Worthing’s ward. Gwendolen Oh! It is strange he never mentioned to me that he had a ward. How secretive of him! He grows more interesting hourly. I am not sure, however, that the news inspires me with feelings of unmixed delight. Rising and going to her. I am very fond of you, Cecily; I have liked you ever since I met you! But I am bound to state that now that I know that you are Mr. Worthing’s ward, I cannot help expressing a wish you were⁠—well, just a little older than you seem