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am going to say things to you that have never been said to a king before? Magnus I am very glad indeed to hear it, Mr. Boanerges. I thought I had already heard everything that could be said to a king. I shall be grateful for the smallest novelty. Boanerges I warn you it won’t be agreeable. I am a plain man, Magnus: a very plain man. Magnus Not at all, I assure you⁠— Boanerges Indignantly. I was not alluding to my personal appearance. Magnus Gravely. Nor was I. Do not deceive yourself, Mr. Boanerges. You are very far from being a plain man. To me you have always been an Enigma. Boanerges Surprised and enormously flattered; he cannot help smiling with pleasure. Well, perhaps I am a bit of an enigma. Perhaps I am. Magnus Humbly. I wish I could see through you, Mr. Boanerges. But I have not your sort of cleverness. I can only ask you to be frank with me. Boanerges Now convinced that he has the upper hand. You mean about the crisis. Well, frank is just what I have come here to be. And the first thing I am going to tell you frankly about it is that this country has got to be governed, not by you, but by your ministers. Magnus I shall be only too grateful to them for taking a very difficult and thankless job off my hands. Boanerges But it’s not on your hands. It’s on your ministers’ hands. You are only a constitutional monarch. Do you know what they call that in Belgium? Magnus An india rubber stamp, I think. Am I right? Boanerges You are, King Magnus. An india rubber stamp. That’s what you have got to be; and don’t you forget it. Magnus Yes: that’s what we are most of the time: both of us. Boanerges Outraged. What do you mean? both of us? Magnus They bring us papers. We sign. You have no time to read them, luckily for you. But I am expected to read everything. I do not always agree; but I must sign: there is nothing else to be done. For instance, death warrants. Not only have I to sign the death warrants of persons who in my opinion ought not to be killed; but I may not even issue death warrants for a great many people who in my opinion ought to be killed. Boanerges Sarcastic. You’d like to be able to say “Off with his head!” wouldn’t you? Magnus Many men would hardly miss their heads, there is so little in them. Still, killing is a serious business: at least the person who is to be killed is usually conceited enough to think so. I think that if there were a question of killing me⁠— Boanerges Grimly. There may be, someday. I have heard it discussed. Magnus Oh, quite. I have not forgotten King Charles’s head. Well, I hope it will be settled by a living person and not by an india rubber stamp. Boanerges It will be settled by the Home Secretary, your duly constituted democratic minister. Magnus Another india rubber stamp, eh? Boanerges At present, perhaps. But not when I am Home Secretary, by Jingo! Nobody will make an india rubber stamp of Bill Boanerges: take that from me. Magnus Of course not. Is it not curious how people idealize their rulers? In the old days the king⁠—poor man!⁠—was a god, and was actually called God and worshipped as infallible and omniscient. That was monstrous⁠— Boanerges It was silly: just silly. Magnus But was it half so silly as our pretence that he is an india rubber stamp? The ancient Roman emperor-god had not infinite wisdom, infinite knowledge, infinite power; but he had some: perhaps even as much as his ministers. He was alive, not dead. What man has ever approached either a king or a minister and been able to pick him up from the table and use him as one picks up and uses a piece of wood and brass and rubber? Permanent officials of your department will try to pick you up and use you like that. Nineteen times out of twenty you will have to let them do it, because you cannot know everything; and even if you could you cannot do everything and be everywhere. But what about the twentieth time? Boanerges The twentieth time they will find they are up against Bill Boanerges, eh? Magnus Precisely. The india rubber stamp theory will not work, Mr. Boanerges. The old divine theory worked because there is a divine spark in us all; and the stupidest or worst monarch or minister, if not wholly god, is a bit of a god⁠—an attempt at a god⁠—however little the bit and unsuccessful the attempt. But the india rubber stamp theory breaks down in every real emergency, because no king or minister is the very least little bit like a stamp: he is a living soul. Boanerges A soul, eh? You kings still believe in that, I suppose. Magnus I find the word convenient: it is short and familiar. But if you dislike being called a soul, let us say that you are animate matter as distinguished from inanimate. Boanerges Not quite liking this. I think I’d rather you called me a soul, you know, if you must call me anything at all. I know I have too much matter about me: the doctor says I ought to knock off a stone or two; but there’s something more to me than beef. Call it a soul if you like; only not in a superstitious sense, if you understand me. Magnus Perfectly. So you see, Mr. Boanerges, that though we have been dealing with one another for less than ten minutes, you have already led me into an intellectual discussion which shows that we are something more than a pair of india rubber stamps. You are up against my brains, such as they are. Boanerges And you are up against mine. Magnus Gallantly. There can be no doubt of that. Boanerges Grinning. Such as they are, eh? Magnus It is not for me