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to make that qualification, except in my own case. Besides, you have given your proofs. No common man could have risen as you have done. As for me, I am a king because I was the nephew of my uncle, and because my two elder brothers died. If I had been the stupidest man in the country I should still be its king. I have not won my position by my merits. If I had been born as you were in the⁠—in the⁠— Boanerges In the gutter. Out with it. Picked up by a policeman at the foot of Captain Coram’s statue. Adopted by the policeman’s grandmother, bless her! Magnus Where should I have been if the policeman had picked me up? Boanerges Ah! Where? Not, mind you, that you mightn’t have done pretty well for yourself. You’re no fool, Magnus: I will say that for you. Magnus You flatter me. Boanerges Flatter a king! Never. Not Bill Boanerges. Magnus Yes, yes: everybody flatters the King. But everybody has not your tact, and, may I say? your good nature. Boanerges Beaming with self-satisfaction. Perhaps not. Still, I am a Republican, you know. Magnus That is what has always surprised me. Do you really think that any man should have as much personal power as the presidents of the republican States have? Ambitious kings envy them. Boanerges What’s that? I don’t follow that. Magnus Smiling. You cannot humbug me, Mr. Boanerges. I see why you are a Republican. If the English people send me packing and establish a republic, no man has a better chance of being the first British president than you. Boanerges Almost blushing. Oh! I don’t say that. Magnus Come come! You know it as well as I do. Well, if it happens you will have ten times more power than I have ever had. Boanerges Not quite convinced. How can that be? You’re King. Magnus And what is the King? An idol set up by a group of plutocrats so that they can rule the country with the King as their scapegoat and puppet. Presidents, now, are chosen by the people, who always want a Strong Man to protect them against the rich. Boanerges Well, speaking as a bit of a Strong Man myself, there may be something in that. But honestly, Magnus, as man to man, do you tell me you’d rather be a president than what you are? Magnus By no means. You wouldn’t believe me if I did; and you would be quite right. You see, my security is very comfortable. Boanerges Security, eh? You admitted just now that even a modest individual like myself had given your throne a shake or two. Magnus True. You are quite right to remind me of it. I know that the monarchy may come to an end at any moment. But while the monarchy lasts⁠—while it lasts, mark you⁠—I am very secure. I escape the dreadful and demoralizing drudgery of electioneering. I have no voters to please. Ministers come and ministers go; but I go on forever. The terrible precariousness of your position⁠— Boanerges What’s that? How is my position precarious? Magnus The vote may go against you. Yours is a Trade Union seat, is it not? If the Hydroelectric Workers Federation throw you over, where would you be? Boanerges Confidently. They won’t throw me over. You don’t know the workers, Magnus: you have never been a worker. Magnus Lifts his eyebrows. ! Boanerges Continuing. No king on earth is as safe in his job as a Trade Union Official. There is only one thing that can get him sacked; and that is drink. Not even that, as long as he doesn’t actually fall down. I talk democracy to these men and women. I tell them that they have the vote, and that theirs is the kingdom and the power and the glory. I say to them “You are supreme: exercise your power.” They say, “That’s right: tell us what to do”; and I tell them. I say “Exercise your vote intelligently by voting for me.” And they do. That’s democracy; and a splendid thing it is too for putting the right men in the right place. Magnus Magnificent! I have never heard it better described. You certainly have a head on you, Mr. Boanerges. You should write an essay on democracy. But⁠— Boanerges But what? Magnus Suppose a man with a bigger voice comes along! Some fool! Some windbag! Some upstart with a platform trick of gulling the multitude! Boanerges You’re thinking of Iky Jacobus? He is only a talker. Snapping his fingers. I don’t give that for him. Magnus I never even heard of Mr. Jacobus. But why do you say “only a talker.” Talkers are very formidable rivals for popular favor. The multitude understands talk: it does not understand work. I mean brain work, like yours and mine. Boanerges That’s true. But I can talk Iky’s head off. Magnus Lucky man: you have all the trumps in your hand. But I, who cannot pretend to your gifts, am very glad that Iky cannot upset me as long as I am the nephew of my uncle. A young lady, dressed for walking, rushes in impetuously. The Young Lady Papa: I cannot find the address⁠— Magnus Cutting her short. No, no, no, dear: not now. Go away. Don’t you see that I am particularly engaged with the President of the Board of Trade? You must excuse my unruly daughter, Mr. Boanerges. May I present her to you? Alice, my eldest girl. Mr. Boanerges, dear. Alice Oh! Are you the great Mr. Boanerges? Boanerges Rising in a glow of gratification. Well, I don’t call myself that, you know. But I believe the expression is in use, as you might say. I am very pleased indeed to make the acquaintance of the Princess Royal. They shake hands. Alice Why do you wear such awful clothes, Mr. Boanerges? Magnus Remonstrating. My dear⁠—! Alice Continuing. I can’t go out walking with you in that. Pointing to his blouse. Boanerges The uniform of Labor, your Royal Highness. I’m proud of it. Alice Oh yes, I know