The Inspector General

my uncle, a rich old man. I’ll be back tomorrow. Governor We would not venture, of course, to hold you back, and we hope for your safe return. Khlestakov Of course, of course, I’ll come back at once. Goodbye, my dear⁠—no, I simply can’t express my feelings. Goodbye, my heart. Kisses Marya’s hand. Governor Don’t you need something for the road? It seems to me you were pleased to be short of cash. Khlestakov Oh, no, what for? After a little thought. However, if you like. Governor How much will you have? Khlestakov You gave me two hundred then, that is, not two hundred, but four hundred⁠—I don’t want to take advantage of your mistake⁠—you might let me have the same now so that it should be an even eight hundred. Governor Very well. Takes the money out of his pocketbook. The notes happen to be brand new, too, as though on purpose. Khlestakov Oh, yes. Takes the bills and looks at them. That’s good. They say new money means good luck. Governor Quite right. Khlestakov Goodbye, Anton Antonovich. I am very much obliged to you for your hospitality. I admit with all my heart that I have never got such a good reception anywhere. Goodbye, Anna Andreyevna. Goodbye, my sweetheart, Marya Antonovna. All go out. Behind the Scenes. Khlestakov Goodbye, angel of my soul, Marya Antonovna. Governor What’s that? You are going in a plain mail-coach? Khlestakov Yes, I’m used to it. I get a headache from a carriage with springs. Postilion Ho! Governor Take a rug for the seat at least. If you say so, I’ll tell them to bring a rug. Khlestakov No, what for? It’s not necessary. However, let them bring a rug if you please. Governor Ho, Avdotya. Go to the storeroom and bring the very best rug from there, the Persian rug with the blue ground. Quick! Postilion Ho! Governor When do you say we are to expect you back? Khlestakov Tomorrow, or the day after. Osip Is this the rug? Give it here. Put it there. Now put some hay on this side. Postilion Ho! Osip Here, on this side. More. All right. That will be fine. Beats the rug down with his hand. Now take the seat, your Excellency. Khlestakov Goodbye, Anton Antonovich. Governor Goodbye, your Excellency. Anna
Marya Goodbye, Ivan Aleksandrovich. Khlestakov Goodbye, mother. Postilion Get up, my boys! The bell rings and the curtain drops.

Act V

Scene: Same as in Act IV.

Scene I

Governor, Anna Andreyevna, and Marya Antonovna.

Governor	Well, Anna Andreyevna, eh? Did you ever imagine such a thing? Such a rich prize? I’ll be⁠—. Well, confess frankly, it never occurred to you even in your dreams, did it? From just a simple governor’s wife suddenly⁠—whew!⁠—I’ll be hanged!⁠—to marry into the family of such a big gun.
Anna	Not at all. I knew it long ago. It seems wonderful to you because you are so plain. You never saw decent people.
Governor	I’m a decent person myself, mother. But, really, think, Anna Andreyevna, what gay birds we have turned into now, you and I. Eh, Anna Andreyevna? High fliers, by Jove! Wait now, I’ll give those fellows who were so eager to present their petitions and denunciations a peppering. Ho, who’s there? Enter a Sergeant. Is it you, Ivan Karpovich? Call those merchants here, brother, won’t you? I’ll give it to them, the scoundrels! To make such complaints against me! The damned pack of Jews! Wait, my dear fellows. I used to dose you down to your ears. Now I’ll dose you down to your beards. Make a list of all who came to protest against me, especially the mean petty scribblers who cooked the petitions up for them, and announce to all that they should know what honor the Heavens have bestowed upon the Governor, namely this: that he is marrying his daughter, not to a plain ordinary man, but to one the like of whom has never yet been in the world, who can do everything, everything, everything, everything! Proclaim it to all so that everybody should know. Shout it aloud to the whole world. Ring the bell, the devil take it! It is a triumph, and we will make it a triumph. The Sergeant goes out. So that’s the way, Anna Andreyevna, eh? What shall we do now? Where shall we live? Here or in St. Pete?
Anna	In St. Petersburg, of course. How could we remain here?
Governor	Well, if St. Pete, then St. Pete. But it would be good here, too. I suppose the governorship could then go to the devil, eh, Anna Andreyevna?
Anna	Of course. What’s a governorship?
Governor	Don’t you think, Anna Andreyevna, I can rise to a high rank now, he being hand in glove with all the ministers, and visiting the court? In time I can be promoted to a generalship. What do you think, Anna Andreyevna? Can I become a general?
Anna	I should say so. Of course you can.
Governor	Ah, the devil take it, it’s nice to be a general. They hang a ribbon across your shoulders. What ribbon is better, the red St. Anne or the blue St. Andrew?
Anna	The blue St. Andrew, of course.
Governor	What! My, you’re aiming high. The red one is good, too. Why does one want to be a general? Because when you go travelling, there are always couriers and aides on ahead with “Horses”! And at the stations they refuse to give the horses to others. They all wait, all those councilors, captains, governors, and you don’t take the slightest notice of them. You dine somewhere with the governor-general. And the town-governor⁠—I’ll keep him waiting at the door. Ha, ha, ha! He bursts into a roar of laughter, shaking all over. That’s what’s so alluring, confound it!
Anna	You always like such coarse things. You must remember that our life will have to be completely changed, that your acquaintances will not be a dog-lover of a judge, with whom you go hunting hares, or a Zemlianika. On the contrary, your acquaintances will be people of the most