Hay Fever

who took the taxi. Richard To Simon. You are Sorel’s brother? Simon Yes; she’ll be down in a minute. Come out into the garden, Myra⁠— Myra But, Simon, we can’t.⁠ ⁠… Simon Grabbing her hand and dragging her off. Yes, we can. I shall go mad if I stay in the house a moment longer. Over his shoulder to Richard and Jackie. Tea will be here soon. He and Myra go off. Jackie Well! Richard A strange young man. Jackie Very rude, I think. Richard Have you ever met him before? Jackie No; I don’t know any of them except Mr. Bliss⁠—he’s a wonderful person. Richard I wonder if he knows you’re here. Jackie Perhaps that funny woman who opened the door will tell him. Richard It was fortunate that we met at the station. Jackie I’m frightfully glad. I should have been terrified arriving all by myself. Richard I do hope the weather will keep good over Sunday⁠—the country round here is delightful. Jackie Yes. Richard There’s nowhere like England in the spring and summer. Jackie No, there isn’t, is there? Richard There’s a sort of quality you find in no other countries. Jackie Have you travelled a lot? Richard Modestly. A good deal. Jackie How lovely. There is a pause. Richard Spain is very beautiful. Jackie Yes, I’ve always heard Spain was awfully nice. Richard Except for the bullfights. No one who ever really loved horses could enjoy a bullfight. Jackie Nor anyone who loved bulls either. Richard Exactly. Jackie Italy’s awfully nice, isn’t it? Richard Oh, yes, charming. Jackie I’ve always wanted to go to Italy. Richard Rome is a beautiful city. Jackie Yes, I’ve always heard Rome was lovely. Richard And Naples and Capri⁠—Capri’s enchanting. Jackie It must be. Richard Have you ever been abroad at all? Jackie Oh, yes; I went to Dieppe once⁠—we had a house there for the summer. Richard Kindly. Dear little place⁠—Dieppe. Jackie Yes, it was lovely. Judith comes downstairs, followed by Sandy, with his arms full of cushions. She motions him out into the garden, sits down and puts on her goloshes, and then follows him. Jackie Well! Richard Russia used to be a wonderful country before the war. Jackie It must have been.⁠ ⁠… Was that her? Richard Who? Jackie Judith Bliss. Richard Yes, I expect it was. Jackie I wish I’d never come. Richard You mustn’t worry. They’re a very Bohemian family, I believe. Jackie I wonder if Mr. Bliss knows I’m here. Richard I wonder. Jackie Couldn’t we ring a bell, or anything? Richard Yes, perhaps we’d better. He finds bell and presses it. Jackie I don’t suppose it rings. Richard You mustn’t be depressed. Jackie I feel horrid. Richard It’s always a little embarrassing coming to a strange house for the first time. You’ll like Sorel⁠—she’s charming. Jackie Desperately. I wonder where she is. Richard Consolingly. I expect tea will be here soon. Jackie Do you think they have tea? Richard Alarmed. Oh, yes⁠—they must. Jackie Oh, well, we’d better go on waiting, then. She sits down. Richard Do you mind if I smoke? Jackie Not a bit. Richard Will you? Jackie No, thank you. Richard Sitting down. I got this case in Japan. It’s pretty, isn’t it? Jackie Awfully pretty. They lapse into hopeless silence. Enter Sorel, downstairs. Sorel Oh, Richard, I’m dreadfully sorry. I didn’t know you were here. Richard We’ve been here a good while. Sorel How awful! Please forgive me. I was upstairs. Richard This is Miss Coryton. Sorel Oh! Jackie How-do-you-do. Sorel Have you come to see Father? Jackie Yes. Sorel He’s in his study⁠—you’d better go up. Jackie I don’t know the way. Sorel Irritably. Oh, well⁠—I’ll take you. Come on. Wait a minute, Richard. She takes her to the top of the stairs. It’s along that passage, and the third door on the right. Jackie Oh, thank you. She goes out despondently. Sorel Coming down again. The poor girl looks half-witted. Richard She’s shy, I think. Sorel I hope Father will find her a comfort. Richard Tell me one thing, Sorel, did your father and mother know I was coming? Sorel Oh, yes; they were awfully pleased. Richard A rather nice-looking woman came down, in a big hat, and went into the garden with a young man, without saying a word. Sorel That was Mother, I expect. We’re an independent family⁠—we entertain our friends sort of separately. Richard Oh, I see. Sorel It was sweet of you to come. Richard I wanted to come⁠—I’ve thought about you a lot. Sorel Have you really? That’s thrilling. Richard I mean it. You’re so alive and vital and different from other people. Sorel I’m so frightened that you’ll be bored here. Richard Why should I be? Sorel Oh, I don’t know. But you won’t be, will you?⁠—or if you are, tell me at once, and we’ll do something quite different. Richard You’re rather a dear, you know. Sorel I’m not⁠—I’m devastating, entirely lacking in restraint. So’s Simon. It’s Father’s and Mother’s fault really; you see, they’re so vague⁠—they’ve spent their lives cultivating their Arts and not devoting any time to ordinary conventions and manners and things. I’m the only one who sees that, so I’m trying to be better. I’d love to be beautifully poised and carry off difficult situations with a lift of the eyebrows⁠— Richard I’m sure you could carry off anything. Sorel There you are, you see, saying the right thing! You always say the right thing, and no one knows a bit what you’re really thinking. That’s what I adore. Richard I’m afraid to say anything now, in case you think I’m only being correct. Sorel But you are correct. I wish you’d teach Simon to be correct too. Richard It would be uphill work, I’m afraid. Sorel Why, don’t you like him? Richard I’ve only met him for a moment. Sorel Would you like to see the garden? Richard Very much indeed. Sorel As a matter of fact, we’d better wait until after tea. Shall I sing you something? Richard Please⁠—I should love it. Sorel I don’t want to really a bit⁠—only I’m trying to entertain you. It’s as easy as pie to talk in someone else’s house, like at the dance the other night, but here on my own ground I’m finding it difficult. Richard Puzzled. I’m sorry. Sorel Oh, it isn’t your fault; honestly, it isn’t⁠—you’re awfully kind and responsive. What shall we do? Richard I’m quite happy talking⁠—to you. Sorel Can you