Why Men Love Bitches

• He senses her willingness to exert herself, and relaxes what he gives even more.

• She senses this and works even harder to jump through hoops.

• The cycle gets worse, as she becomes more and more depleted.

The solution? Lose the fantasy, And if you feel you are going to resent something after you give it, don’t give it. Give only what feels comfortable to give. This will enable you to stay firmly planted with both feet on the ground.

Remember when you learned the golden rule in kinder-garten? This was a nice theory, but in the real world we’ll need to modify it just a bit.

LET'S REPLACE…	WITH…
“Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”	“Do unto others, after they show you they are worthy”.
“Love conquers all.”	“Love conquers her, when she gives all.”
“To give is better than to receive.”	“It is better to give and receive.”
“Charity begins at home.”	“There is no charity case in this home.”
“All’s well that ends well.”	“All’s well for those who cover their ‘ends’ well.”
“Love thy neighbor.”	“Love thyself first, and your neighbor will be happier living next to you.”

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #50

The nice girl gives away too much of herself.

when pleasing him regularly becomes more

important than pleasing herself

Many times, when you are going through your daily life, Attraction Principle #50 will be very subtle. For example, a woman may have spread herself very thin between her career and her time to herself, and she’s exhausted. He asks her out: “How about Wednesday?” She tells him Wednesday isn’t good because of work demands on Thursday morning. So he asks, “How about Tuesday or Thursday?” Then she accepts. Her needs are swept under the rug, and worse yet, she is doing the sweeping. Then she goes out and she is cranky and irritated because she is overworked and hasn’t rested.

The bitch doesn’t take the more difficult course; she takes the easier course. How hard is it to suggest, “The weekend would really be better.” It’s better for everyone involved. The bitch is her own guide.

Cathy was on a first date when she found that the guy wouldn’t let her order what she wanted off the menu. He kept saying, “You have to try this…” She was firm but polite, and finally, he ordered what she wanted. Then he ordered a bottle of wine after she had said she didn’t want to “drink and drive,” particularly because it was a weeknight. He poured her a glass and they made a toast, so she didn’t argue. They clinked glasses and she took one sip to be gracious, but not another sip there-after. Her glass of wine didn’t move.

What is important in this example is that she didn’t explain herself. She just did what she wanted to do. She didn’t need to ask his permission to honor her own wishes, she just honored them.

Another woman I know shared a story about a man she dated. After two dates, the man asked her to take him to the airport at 4 A.M. (yes, in the morning).

On their second date, he was coordinating while she listened. “You could get up at 4 A.M., pick me up at 5 A.M., get to the airport at 6 A.M., go home by 7 A.M., shower, and get to work by 8 A.M.” (The ringmaster had the poodle hoop-circuit all planned out.) Here’s a novel idea that never crossed his mind: He could pay seven bucks for a shuttle, rather than yank her out of bed at such a ridiculous hour. She politely said, “I’m sorry. I’m going to be busy.” And he said, “What do you mean busy? Busy what? Sleeping?” She smiled and politely said, “Yes.”

If he acts as though it’s perfectly normal for you to jump through hoops, don’t let that be your guide. Ignore what he says. When he says, “I’m spiritual,” don’t listen. Just look at how he acts. If he said he was spiritual, but he expects a lot of “unholy compromising,” let your observations be your guide.

Another way a woman may jump through hoops is to “tell time” by when a man calls. How many times have you called a girlfriend to say let’s “hook up” and she has to wait for a call from a guy she’s dating to give you an answer? These are always the women who get treated poorly. She becomes depleted because she is willing to wait “at bay,” never making plans until she rules out the possibility “beyond a reasonable doubt” that she is seeing a man. Then you get a call back, “Okay let’s get together,” but now it’s 10 P.M.

If you don’t hear from him in enough time to suggest he respects your time, there is a simple solution: Don’t give him any.

Here’s an example of a woman who jumps through hoops—and at the same time, it defies the stereotype that beauty and youth are what are most attractive to a man. Karla was nineteen and so pretty you could have placed her on the cover of any men’s magazine without airbrushing. She was the one who cried on my shoulder about the fact that her boyfriend, Bart, told her that when he goes out with his friends he looks at the sixteen- year-olds.

Now let’s hear Bart’s version: “I’m not in love with her the way she is with me.” He shared with me a story of when she was doing his laundry for him in his apartment. “I was being a total jerk. You know what she said to me? ‘After I finish your laundry, I’m going home.’ There were three more loads, and she did them. I really would have respected her if she had said, ‘Screw you’ and walked out.”

A tip: When you are at his place any day of the week, don’t do any housework. The only laundry you do is your own. The only tub you scrub is your own. The only person you clean up after is yourself. If his place is a mess, go to yours. If he asks you to help him clean, be subtle. Just tell him the maidservant has the day off on Sundays.

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #51

The relationship may not be right for you if you find

yourself jumping through hoops. When something is

right, it will feel easier and much more effortless.

Just remember, it isn’t about a man. This is your life… and it’s too precious to waste. Do things when it is convenient, especially if it regards your relationships of choice and who you let in on the “inside.” It will yield a