“She also needs to be busy. Routine would be good, daily workouts, maybe some walks. If her mind’s busy, then she’ll stay calmer. I really think starting classes at school this semester would be best for her. It will be a big and daunting step, but full days will really help. Just keep her busy guys, and keep showing her that you’re there for her, that you’re not scared off by her demons. Your strength, gives her strength.”
“And when this happens again? Because it will, right? No matter how busy we keep her, she will have dark moments.”
“I’m hoping the therapist she sees will give her some medications to ease the anxiety, which will help, but yeah, of course this will happen. It’s going to take time for her to heal. But when it does, you do what you did today, you take control, and calm her, make her feel safe.”
“But she pushed us away. Are we supposed to just force ourselves into her room?” Kyle snapped.
“Of course not. If she wants to be alone, then you have to give her the space she needs. Don't suffocate her, because that will not help her either. The only time I would say you should refuse to leave her, is when you can see she’s angry like she was today. Moments of anger will be the most explosive, and the times she’s most likely to hurt herself unintentionally. If she’s angry, stay with her, let her lash out at you if she has to. You’re all big and tough enough to take it. Just don’t leave her until you are sure she is calm.”
“Are we going to lose her Xand?” Kyle asked, sounding completely broken. I looked up to where he had stopped at the end of the hallway, his head hanging down defeatedly. I stalked over to him and put my hands firmly on his shoulders until he looked up, his pain filled eyes meeting mine.
“No.” I said with fire. “You are not. We are all going to just keep doing what we have been, taking care of her and making sure she gets what she needs to heal. We just need to try a little harder. Now, get it together. She needs you.”
CHAPTER 8
OLIVIA
Two weeks later and things were a lot better. I had attended my second session with the therapist Xander arranged for me, that morning. She was called April, in her early thirties and very kind and patient. I had liked her from the first ten minutes I spent in her office, not that you could tell by the death grip I had on Kade the whole time we were there, afraid if I let him go, he would slip out. Of course he had assured me again and again he wouldn't, but I was irrationally scared of facing my demons with this stranger alone. I needed him.
I had asked Kade to come the first time because I knew he would be best equipped to deal with any horrible details I was forced to go into with this therapist. He was a cop after all. There wasn’t much he hadn’t seen.
But the session hadn't been at all like I thought. I didn't have to go into gory details, or spill my soul. April just talked to me, about my home life and about the guys. She asked me a little about my trauma, but as soon as I started to feel panicky, she moved away from it to safer waters. She had been kind and gentle and hadn't pushed me once. I actually found all of the talking pretty helpful in helping me process how I was feeling, and I instantly understood what Xander had meant when he told me the sessions would help.
Now the second one was over, and it had been much the same. I had talked about my nightmares with April, and she had given me a few techniques to try and feel calmer before I went to sleep, and ways to handle it if I woke mid panic attack. We talked about medication and I explained my reluctance to take pills unless absolutely necessary. She had been understanding and assured me there were plenty of techniques we could try to master things before we talked medication again.
By the time Cole and I had walked out of the downtown office hand in hand, I felt lighter.
When Keira and Grant had put their foot down and told me in no uncertain terms I would attend two hour long sessions a week for my own good for the foreseeable future, I had both hated, and been terrified by the idea. I had pouted for days leading up to the first appointment, with everyone, since everyone but me was behind the plan for me to see a shrink. I refused to talk to the guys for a full day, feeling like they were betraying me by siding with Xander, Keira and Grant, and making me go. It had taken stern words from Xander, telling me to suck it up and deal with it, that had softened me a little and made me talk to my guys again.
But now, the first week and two appointments down, and I knew I had been wrong. I even looked forward to the next appointment, which was crazy.
“You hungry, Beautiful? There’s a great sub shop down the street?” Cole offered as we stepped onto the busy sidewalk outside the office building we had just exited.
I looked up to Cole, then ahead at the packed side walk nervously. It had taken me all of my time to walk to the office building from where we had parked the two times I had been there. Venturing further in the packed crowds was daunting.
“We can just go home if you want, Babygirl, no problem.” Cole added, obviously seeing my nerves rising. I looked up to him again, up the extra foot and
