The Inspector General

wish, we can go from there and inspect the district school and see our method of education. Khlestakov Yes, yes, if you please. Governor Afterwards, if you should like to visit our town jails and prisons, you will see how our criminals are kept. Khlestakov Yes, yes, but why go to prison? We had better go to see the philanthropic institutions. Governor As you please. Do you wish to ride in your own carriage, or with me in the cab? Khlestakov I’d rather take the cab with you. Governor To Dobchinsky. Now there’ll be no room for you, Piotr Ivanovich. Dobchinsky It doesn’t matter. I’ll walk. Governor Aside, to Dobchinsky. Listen. Run as fast as you can and take two notes, one to Zemlianika at the hospital, the other to my wife. To Khlestakov. May I take the liberty of asking you to permit me to write a line to my wife to tell her to make ready to receive our honored guest? Khlestakov Why go to so much trouble? However, there is the ink. I don’t know whether there is any paper. Would the bill do? Governor Yes, that’ll do. Writes, talking to himself at the same time. We’ll see how things will go after lunch and several stout-bellied bottles. We have some Russian Madeira, not much to look at, but it will knock an elephant off its legs. If I only knew what he is and how much I have to be on my guard. He finishes writing and gives the notes to Dobchinsky. As the latter walks across the stage, the door suddenly falls in, and Bobchinsky tumbles in with it to the floor. All exclaim in surprise. Bobchinsky rises. Khlestakov Have you hurt yourself? Bobchinsky Oh, it’s nothing⁠—nothing at all⁠—only a little bruise on my nose. I’ll run in to Dr. Hübner’s. He has a sort of plaster. It’ll soon pass away. Governor Making an angry gesture at Bobchinsky. To Khlestakov. Oh, it’s nothing. Now, if you please, sir, we’ll go. I’ll tell your servant to carry your luggage over. Calls Osip. Here, my good fellow, take all your master’s things to my house, the Governor’s. Anyone will tell you where it is. By your leave, sir. Makes way for Khlestakov and follows him; then turns and says reprovingly to Bobchinsky. Couldn’t you find some other place to fall in? Sprawling out here like a lobster! Goes out. After him Bobchinsky. Curtain falls.

Act III

Scene: The same as in Act I.

Scene I

Anna Andreyevna and Marya Antonovna standing at the window in the same positions as at the end of Act I.

Anna	There now! We’ve been waiting a whole hour. All on account of your silly prinking. You were completely dressed, but no, you have to keep on dawdling.⁠—Provoking! Not a soul to be seen, as though on purpose, as though the whole world were dead.
Marya	Now really, mamma, we shall know all about it in a minute or two. Avdotya must come back soon. Looks out of the window and exclaims. Oh, mamma, someone is coming⁠—there down the street!
Anna	Where? Just your imagination again!⁠—Why, yes, someone is coming. I wonder who it is. A short man in a frock coat. Who can it be? Eh? The suspense is awful! Who can it be, I wonder.
Marya	Dobchinsky, mamma.
Anna	Dobchinsky! Your imagination again! It’s not Dobchinsky at all. Waves her handkerchief. Ho, you! Come here! Quick!
Marya	It is Dobchinsky, mamma.
Anna	Of course, you’ve got to contradict. I tell you, it’s not Dobchinsky.
Marya	Well, well, mamma? Isn’t it Dobchinsky?
Anna	Yes, it is, I see now. Why do you argue about it? Calls through the window. Hurry up, quick! You’re so slow. Well, where are they? What? Speak from where you are. It’s all the same. What? He is very strict? Eh? And how about my husband? Moves away a little from the window, exasperated. He is so stupid. He won’t say a word until he is in the room.

Scene II

Enter Dobchinsky.

Anna	Now tell me, aren’t you ashamed? You were the only one I relied on to act decently. They all ran away and you after them, and till now I haven’t been able to find out a thing. Aren’t you ashamed? I stood godmother to your Vanichka and Lizanko, and this is the way you treat me.
Dobchinsky	Godmother, upon my word, I ran so fast to pay my respects to you that I’m all out of breath. How do you do, Marya Antonovna?
Marya	Good afternoon, Piotr Ivanovich.
Anna	Well, tell me all about it. What is happening at the inn?
Dobchinsky	I have a note for you from Anton Antonovich.
Anna	But who is he? A general?
Dobchinsky	No, not a general, but every bit as good as a general, I tell you. Such culture! Such dignified manners!
Anna	Ah! So he is the same as the one my husband got a letter about.
Dobchinsky	Exactly. It was Piotr Ivanovich and I who first discovered him.
Anna	Tell me, tell me all about it.
Dobchinsky	It’s all right now, thank the Lord. At first he received Anton Antonovich rather roughly. He was angry and said the inn was not run properly, and he wouldn’t come to the Governor’s house and he didn’t want to go to jail on account of him. But then when he found out that Anton Antonovich was not to blame and they got to talking more intimately, he changed right away, and, thank Heaven, everything went well. They’ve gone now to inspect the philanthropic institutions. I confess that Anton Antonovich had already begun to suspect that a secret denunciation had been lodged against him. I myself was trembling a little, too.
Anna	What have you to be afraid of? You’re not an official.
Dobchinsky	Well, you see, when a Grand Mogul speaks, you feel afraid.
Anna	That’s all rubbish. Tell me, what is he like personally? Is